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I scanned a Would You Rather question list. “Okay. Would you rather fight flying monkeys or infinity ants?”
She swallowed. “Flying monkeys,” she said without thinking about it. “The ants won’t ever stop. That was too easy, give me another one.”
I looked again. “Would you rather know the history of everything you touch, or be able to talk to animals?”
She scrunched up her face. “I don’t like either of those. Either way I’m going to be honor bound to solve unsolved mysteries for the rest of my life. But if I had to choose, animals.”
“You don’t like unsolved mysteries?”
“I do, but I don’t want that to be my job. I only solve murder mysteries for fun.”
I gave her an amused look.
“My turn,” she said. “Would you rather name your kid whatever you want, or name your kid after an internet provider in exchange for eighteen years of free Wi-Fi?”
I laughed. “What? Like, Xfinity or something?”
“Yeah.”
“Xfinity isn’t awful,” I said.
“So it’s a yes? You’d do it?”
“How much is this free Wi-Fi I’m getting?”
She bobbed her head. “Well, assuming you’re getting the premium plan for bequeathing them your firstborn—seventy-five, maybe a hundred dollars a month?”
“Over eighteen years that’s probably about twenty thousand dollars in savings. Yeah. I’d do it.”
She gawked at me. “You’d make your kid live their whole life with that name for twenty thousand dollars in savings? I’d pay twenty thousand dollars for my kid not to have that name.”
“What? It’s not like I named her CenturyLink. Xfinity’s a nice name.”
“If you’re a horse in a Disney movie.”
I twisted to look back at her and made my face serious. “There is nothing wrong with Xfinity pulling her weight around here. Childcare is expensive.”
“Wow. It is sad how easily bought you are. At least she’ll be able to Google therapists.”
“We could call her a nickname and she could legally change it once she turns eighteen.”
“What’s her nickname? Password?”
I grinned. “Well, what nickname would you give her?”
“Ava,” she said without even thinking about it.
“Why Ava?”
“Because I like that name. If I ever get a dog, I’m going to name her Ava.”
The cat slid out from under the sofa.
Briana blinked at it. “Well, I’ll be damned…”
Cooter sniffed me. Then sniffed Lieutenant Dan. Then the cat came back around and rubbed his head on my hand and let me pet him. “Hey, there.”
She shook her head. “How did you do that?” she asked, her mouth open. “He’s been hiding for weeks.”
