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“What do you have in mind?” I said without saying hello.
“I don’t really care. I just like knowing what we’re eating.”
I bet this was his anxiety. He probably felt better when he knew what to prepare for. I filed that away.
“Very well,” I said. “What about Taco Bell.”
He groaned. “Do we have to?”
“What? Why not? It’s been ages since I’ve had Taco Bell. Nick used to surprise me with it on his way home. He’d bring it with flowers.”
“Taco Bell? This was his idea of a romantic evening? Everyone getting diarrhea?”
“I happen to like Taco Bell. And just so you know, there is no greater show of love than someone bringing you food without being told. A man who brings you food without you asking is thoughtful and considerate. He’s a natural nurturer, he’s taking care of you. It’s extremely telling. Even if it is Taco Bell.”
“He sounds nice.”
“He’s an asshole.”
He let out a laugh.
“What do you get from there?” he asked, a chuckle still in his voice.
I shrugged. “A chalupa and two Taco Supremes with fire sauce.”
“Those tacos are objectively the worst tacos ever created.”
“The heart wants what the heart wants, Jacob.”
There was a smile in the pause. “May I make a counteroffer?” he asked.
“You may.”
“Juicy Lucy’s. I’ll pick it up. By the time I get to your place, the cheese will be cool enough to eat.”
This was a key consideration when eating a Juicy Lucy. It was a burger with scalding cheese stuffed inside the patty. They took forever to cool down.
“This could work,” I said.
“Okay. I’ll send you the menu. What else are we going to do?”
I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling, an ancient brass and faux wood fan directly overhead. “I don’t know. Watch TV? It’s going to be very casual. I’m going to be in my pajamas. I will not be wearing makeup or a bra, so don’t come overdressed. You can bring Lieutenant Dan if you want, the cat isn’t afraid of dogs.”
“All right.”
“I need to warn you, my house is very ugly.”
“Noted,” he said. “Where do I park?”
“In front of the garage behind the small car stall.”
“Okay. You’re not upset I’m not bringing the diarrhea food, right?”
“I am very upset. But whenever I’m mad at you, just pull the kidney card.”
He laughed and we hung up.
Then a minute later he sent me a picture of Lieutenant Dan. His tongue was lolled out and he looked like he was smiling. I grinned. I replied with a blurry photo of Cooter streaking through the hallway in one of his rare daytime appearances since the move. He still hid most of the time.
