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“Yeah. It’s been nice catching up.”

I cleared my throat. “Did you two ever date?” I asked.

“Me and Levi? Nah.” Then she smiled. “My mom used to always joke that I’d marry him one day.”

“Why?”

“She thought he had a crush on me. I don’t know.”

My mouth went dry. “You never wanted to date him?”

She looked over at me. “This is going to sound a little eighteen-hundreds Victorian England, but his family wouldn’t have really approved of that.”

“Why not?”

She looked at me pointedly. “We were the help, Jacob.”

“But you’re not the help now.” I regretted it the second I said it out loud. I was wingmanning him, for God’s sake.

She made an amused noise. “No, I have definitely leveled up since high school.” She looked back at her phone. “I’m having drinks next weekend at his house. I was thinking the day you were going to take Lieutenant Dan to the vet? I’d be back by the time you got home.”

My stomach dropped. She was going to his house? Was this a date?

I was afraid to ask. Because I was afraid of the answer.

I knew at some point this would happen. She didn’t want me, so she’d date eventually and I had no control over it. I just thought I’d be spared this for now, safe, tucked away in the rules of our arrangement.

But she was single. And she wanted him to know she was single. Maybe he already did. If it never got back to anyone we knew, what was the harm in her doing whatever the hell she wanted?

She could sleep with him that day. The thought made panic rise in my chest.

I had no right to tell her not to go. I didn’t even have a right to be upset. All this, me and her—this was a favor. This wasn’t real. We weren’t fucking REAL.

Her phone pinged again. Then again. And again.

It wasn’t loud, but my reaction to it was physical. Every time a text came through, my shoulders creeped higher, my pulse went up. The sound was so triggering, it felt like gunfire.

Ping.

Ping ping.

Ping ping ping.

“You know, I’m actually pretty tired,” I said, picking up the remote and turning off the TV. “I think I’m going to go to sleep.”

Her face fell. “Oh.”

She sounded disappointed. I don’t know why. She wasn’t even watching the show, and she could text in the living room.

She got up. “Okay. Good night.” And then she went back to the air mattress.

I was disappointed because she wouldn’t accidentally fall asleep in my bed and the rest of the night was ruined, but I couldn’t keep watching her check her phone.

I turned off the light, but I couldn’t sleep. My mind went on a merciless tangent instead. What was he saying that made her laugh? Was he funnier than me? Did she get butterflies when a text came through? Would I have to watch her date him? Right in the middle of our deal?

I was ruminating and it wasn’t healthy and it wasn’t getting me anywhere. So I used the skills I’d learned in therapy. Redirected my thoughts. Tried to ground myself by focusing on what I knew to be positive and true.

Briana sought out my friendship in the beginning, so she must like me. She said she feels protective over me. She laughs when I joke with her. She compliments me. Tells me I smell good, that I have a nice smile.