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Chapter 21

Sloan

♪White Winter Hymnal | Fleet Foxes

Jason had his playlist on the Bluetooth of our rental SUV. On the plane we’d shared his headphones, each of us wearing an earbud so we could listen and still talk to each other. We’d had our foreheads together the whole time. I think I’d learned every fleck in his irises on that flight.

Jason looked at me from behind the wheel. “So just to warn you, my mom’s going to put us in separate rooms. She’s kind of old-fashioned.”

“Wise woman.” It was probably safest to keep us separated, especially after last night.

“We could always get a hotel room,” he suggested, giving me a wicked sideways glance. “Everyone does keep telling us to get one.”

My cheeks heated.

I could count the number of men I’d slept with on one hand and have fingers to spare. And the last person on my list had been the only man I’d planned on sleeping with ever again. Even though absolutely nothing had felt wrong about what happened between Jason and me last night, Brandon’s memory had been just enough of a buzzkill to pull me from the moment.

But I doubted I’d hesitate again.

Jason was slowly edging out all the things that froze me in time. He was thawing me from my nuclear winter from the outside in—and he was almost to my core.

He smiled at the road and I admired his profile from the side. The lines that creased at the corners of his eyes, the slope of his nose, a small freckle on his cheek, a square jaw and closely trimmed beard with its flecks of red, his Adam’s apple.

My eyes followed his neck down to his arm. I took in the muscles of his biceps, then the hair on his forearm, his hand on the wheel. I thought of how his voice sounded when he sang, the way the calluses from his guitar felt on my bare skin, and how much talent was in those fingers. Those hands wanted to touch me.

No, next time nothing would stop me.

“This is Ely.” His whole face lit up as we began to drive through the small town.

God, I wish I could be that excited to come home.

Mom had sold the house I grew up in years ago, after the divorce, and moved to a one-bedroom apartment with her new husband. Dad lived in San Diego with his new wife. I was an only child. Brandon’s family and I drifted apart after he died. I was still friends with his sister, Claudia, on Instagram, but we hadn’t seen each other since the funeral. Kristen was the closest thing I had to a sibling. It must be so great to be able to come home like Jason was.

The two-lane road ran right through the heart of the town. Restaurants and shops peppered the street on both sides. No Starbucks, but I could manage without it for three days.

We passed Jason’s family’s business and he pointed it out as we drove by. The building was cute. It was a log house with Ely Outfitting Company on the side. They’d used a canoe as a flower box under the window, and the railing on the steps was made from paddles.

We kept going fifteen more minutes beyond the town and turned down a one-lane dirt road with a mailbox at the entrance.

I craned my neck to see the house as it came into view. There wasn’t another home in sight and there hadn’t been for most of the drive since we left the edge of town. The single-story log house was nestled in the woods, surrounded by forest so thick I couldn’t see the other side of it. The roof was green over honey-colored logs, and a porch with log banisters ran the length of the front. The smell of burning firewood filled the crisp air.

Jason parked and came around to meet me as I unbuckled myself.

“You ready?” he asked as I got out of the car. He stood with his hand on the top of the SUV, barring my exit from behind my open door. “I’m going to need one last good kiss from you. We might not get another chance until we leave on Sunday. I have a feeling we won’t get much time alone.” He smiled at my mouth.

“Oh, I wondered why you had me cornered here. You’re saying goodbye to me for a few days.”

“I’m only saying goodbye to your lips.”

The passenger side of the SUV blocked us from the view of the house, so I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him, smiling against his mouth. Then a booming voice broke into our private moment. “Hey! Get a room, asshole!”

Jason shut his eyes and grinned. “Fuck.”

I turned around and looked through the windows of the car to see a man coming our way.

“David’s here,” Jason said, smiling.

Jason met his brother in front of the SUV. The burly, flannel-clad man held a bundle of firewood. He dropped it and gave Jason a hug as Tucker jumped up and down at their feet.