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The gaunt, sharp edges of her cheekbones were gone, and so was the death she’d carried behind her eyes the last time I saw her.

Her clear green irises settled on me. “Thank you for seeing me. I wouldn’t have blamed you if you didn’t want to.”

“No, I’m glad you’re here,” I said. “How have you been? You look good.”

Her hand went self-consciously to her head. “When it gets a little longer, I can get extensions.” She laughed nervously. “I actually kinda like it because I don’t get recognized.”

She put her hands into her lap and stared down at them for a long moment. “I wanted to apologize to you. And to Sloan. I was messed up for a really long time. I wasn’t myself and I’m not proud of how I acted.”

When I didn’t respond, her eyes came up to mine. “I didn’t know that was your girlfriend that night. I’d never seen her before, and Jessa had said Sloan was in Minnesota. I thought it was your assistant or something walking your dog.” She swallowed. “This is the first time I’ve really been sober and stable in almost three years. I know that’s not an excuse, but—”

“It’s okay,” I said, putting up a hand. “I accept your apology. If you accept mine.”

Her face went soft. She let out a long breath as if she’d been holding it. “I’ve been talking to Ernie about representing me. I need someone honest, you know?”

I smiled a little. “He’s a good one.”

She nodded. “Most of them aren’t. You’re really lucky.”

I studied her while she seemed to struggle with what to say.

“I, um…I was wondering if you would ever consider letting me tour with you? I mean, it doesn’t have to be full-time or anything,” she said quickly. “Maybe just the biggest venues? Or holiday specials?”

I leaned forward with my elbows on my knees. “There’d have to be rules,” I said. “You’d need to stay sober.”

Hope flashed across her face. She nodded.

“Stay on your medication. And if you fall off the wagon, you exit yourself. You don’t make me do it.”

She nodded again and I sat there, searching her face for the old Lola.

I didn’t see her.

I put out a hand.

She looked at my small olive branch, and her chin quivered. Then she took my hand and shook it.

I let go of her and reached across the coffee table to pull some tissues from the box. I handed them to her and she held them, staring down at the tips of her toes, smiling through tears.

I sat there, watching her in silence. I felt like I should tell her I was proud of her. I knew how hard it was to battle against yourself. To wrestle your desires down every single day of your life to do what you know is best. But I didn’t have the strength to talk about it.

I probably never would.

Sometimes the hardest place to live is the one in-between. And sometimes in-between is all you’ll ever get.

She wiped at her nose. “I should go,” she said after a moment, starting to get up. “I don’t want to cause any more problems for you with Sloan.”

I laughed a little and sat back in the chair. “Sloan and I broke up. The night you left.”

She blinked at me, perched on the end of her cushion. “Was it…because of me?”

I shook my head. “No. Not really. I just couldn’t give her the life she deserved.”

Lola sat there, clutching the wads of tissues I’d handed her. “I’m sorry, Jaxon. But you know it’s probably for the best, right?”

“I do,” I said quietly.

“This business isn’t the greatest for relationships.” She looked away from me for a moment. “I never told you this but…” Her eyes came back to mine. “When I met you, you kinda reminded me of someone.” She shook her head. “Just someone I used to know. A dancer…”