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Chapter 42

Sloan

♪fresh bruises | Bring Me the Horizon

I read the letter Zane had sent me a hundred times. Stared at those four words at the top of the page until they were seared behind my eyelids. Jason lied about Lola.

Zane and Courtney were close.

The letter went on to explain that Courtney had told Zane she had been there the night Lola showed up. That Jason had never been alone with Lola except for the few seconds when she’d walked through his room to answer the door for me. Jason had taken a sleeping pill and had no idea Lola had even been there until he woke up.

Then Zane said that Lola had a breakdown and hurt herself, and Jason was only on that motorcycle to take her to rehab. She told me nothing in the tabloids was true and that Jason had told Ernie explicitly to let me believe it if I asked.

Zane wouldn’t lie. She was the most brutally honest person I knew. And if Jason knew she’d done this without his permission, he’d fire her. She was risking her job to send me that message.

I couldn’t breathe.

Why?Why would he make that up? Why would he say something so horrible to me and want me to think so many awful things about him?

I immediately called him. The first time in three months. It went straight to voicemail.

Jason had never, in the entire six months I’d known him, had his phone off. Ringer down, yes. Phone off, no.

My number was blocked.

So Jason didn’t want to talk to me. He didn’t want me calling him. He was here, in LA, and he hadn’t come looking for me. And he’d never once reached out to me in the last three months. So why was Zane trying to get me to go over there? He clearly didn’t want to be in a relationship with me if he’d fabricate a story like this just to get out of it. He’d gone to extremes to make sure it was over between us.

And now I was angry.

When he’d first done what he did, I was devastated. Then, when I saw the pictures with Lola, I’d been hurt and disappointed. I’d spent the last few months in various states of numb confusion. But now that I knew that he’d lied to me, I was furious.

So he’d wanted to break up and he’d thought destroying me would be the easiest way to do it?

I called Zane. I thought it was going to voicemail, it rang so long before she picked up. “Hey, what’s up?” she whispered.

Jason must be there.

There was something heart wrenching about knowing he might be just on the other end of that line. Maybe I’d even hear him. My knees suddenly felt weak. I hated that he still had that effect on me, that I still loved him to stupidity.

“Why would you send me that, Zane? He obviously doesn’t want to see me.”

“Just…can you give me one second? Just hold on.”

I heard shuffling. Then a few moments later she came back. “Are you coming?” she asked, her voice low.

“No. He doesn’t want me there.”

“Yes he does,” she said. “He’s fucked up, Sloan.”

I laughed, incredulous. “He’s fucked up? He lied about sleeping with another woman and then he put me on a plane and never spoke to me again.”

Her voice went lower. “Look. Just come. I don’t know what the fuck his problem is. All I know is Jason loves you.”

I shook my head. “I think Jason loved me once, Zane. But he’s Jaxon now.”

I hung up on her.

My eyelid bounded into a full-scale attack. I paced in my living room with a palm to my eye, breathing hard.