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Chapter 4

Sloan

♪ocean eyes | Billie Eilish

Ilooked at the pictures of Tucker with Jason.

Again.

I’d been ogling them since he’d sent them to me yesterday. For all the crap I gave Jason, it turned out I was the creeper.

Jason was hot. No, he was beyond hot. He was bearded, thick brown hair, sexy smile, blue eyes hot. Six-pack abs on the beach hot.

I watched a lot of crime shows, and I’d gone full forensic psychologist on the screenshot of his cell phone home page.

The time on his phone was Australia’s, so he was there, like he’d said he was.

The musician thing seemed true enough. He had a disproportionate amount of music apps. No Tinder or other hookup sites. There were Uber, Twitter, and YouTube. All the standard social media. Tons of notifications, but then he’d just landed, and he’d said he had been out of contact for a few weeks, so that made sense and actually gave his story credibility.

Overall, no glaring red flags that screamed pathological liar or mass murderer. And it was pretty adorable that Tucker was his wallpaper image.

I put a hand between Tucker’s ears and tousled his fur. “Why didn’t you tell me your dad was so handsome?” He leaned into me and let me kiss his head.

To say I was sad about losing Tucker in two weeks was the understatement of the year.

Tucker changed me. I felt good. Better than I’d felt in ages, actually. And I realized that somewhere along the line, the tiredness that comes with grief had turned into the kind that comes from inactivity and a crappy diet of caffeine and sugar.

Tucker got me moving. He gave my days purpose. And now he would be leaving me in a few weeks, and I felt panic at the thought of being alone again, like I wouldn’t know how to keep doing this new and improved me if I didn’t have him.

I had been so close to just keeping him. But after I’d hung up on Jason, I’d thought about what he’d said, that he’d been out of town and he hadn’t known Tucker was missing. I wasn’t a dog thief. If I had suspected for one second he was going back to a neglectful home, I’d have kept him and never looked back. But I couldn’t take him from someone who truly loved him.

Josh wandered in from the direction of the garage, wiping his hands on a rag. “All done. Water heater’s in.”

I smiled at him. “Thanks.”

“You should have let us buy it for you,” he said, giving me a look.

Josh was like my big brother. Brandon would have been happy to know that his best friend took care of me like he did. But I didn’t like to take advantage of it. It was enough that Josh fixed half the things that broke around here for free—he didn’t need to buy the things too. I’d bought and had the water heater delivered before I even told Josh the old one had broken. Otherwise he would have just picked it up for me.

“It’s okay. I have the money,” I lied. “Took some extra commissions this week.”

He studied me for a long moment, but I didn’t break character.

“Okay.” He glanced at his phone. “Well, I’m gonna head home and tap out the sitter. Kristen’s already on her way over with dinner.”

They liked to feed me. I think they thought if they didn’t, I’d starve to death. Six months ago I’d put my foot down and only allowed dinner once a week now. They used to be here every day, but it had started to get ridiculous. They had a baby and their own lives, and I didn’t want to feel like their responsibility. Kristen would never say it, but I think it was a relief. Either because she thought I was getting better or because she was glad she didn’t have to schlep over here every day. I’d filled my freezer with Lean Cuisines and shocked them both when I didn’t die from malnourishment.

“See you later.” Josh gave me a hug, ruffled Tucker’s ears, flashed me a dimpled smile, and left.

The dog laid his head back on my lap, and I peered down at him. I took my cell phone and hit the camera icon and snapped a shot. “I bet Jason would like to see some of your vacation pictures,” I said, thumbing a text into the phone and shooting the photo off.

Sloan:All worn out after a six-mile hike!

I set my phone down and lolled my head back on the sofa. Then my cell pinged.

Jason:I bet he loved it.

Another ping.