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I snorted. “Sounds like a good enough reason to me,” I said tiredly. “Let’s do it. Stop taking your pill.”
She laughed. “Wow, your tour has officially made you insane.”
“What?” I pinched my temples. “You want to raise kids with Kristen, don’t you? Let’s knock you up.”
She giggled. “How romantic. But pregnant? And then with a baby? On tour? That’s crazy.”
I squinted out at the curtains. “How is that crazy?”
She snorted. “Are you kidding?”
“Why would I be kidding?” I frowned.
“Pregnancy is hard, Jason. Look how run-down you’ve been, and you’re not carrying a baby. We can’t do that on tour.”
I shook my head. “Sloan, there’s always going to be a tour. We know that already. We can’t let that stop us from living our lives.”
“Jason, we don’t need to have kids right now. We can wait until it’s better.”
I shook my head again. “It’s not going to be better. We have to work with what we have.”
“Uh, by doing something nuts like dragging myself around the globe pregnant? And then what? Breastfeeding behind stage? A crib in the dressing room?” She sounded amused.
“Yeah, why not?”
“Are you serious?” She laughed. “Have you ever actually met a baby? You do realize that they require a routine, right?”
My jaw flexed. “Sloan, I’m not joking about this. If we want to have kids, we should have kids.”
There was a beat of silence. “You don’t even get days off, Jason.” The humor had suddenly left her tone.
“So?”
“So I get pregnant and then what? Deal with morning sickness and jet lag? When would I go to the doctor? And would you even be there with the way they’re running you? What if I needed to be on bed rest? What if I went into labor on the road in a foreign country? What if the baby got sick or—”
“I would make sure you’re taken care of,” I said slowly. “You know that.”
“You can’t even take care of yourself out there. You’ve been having headaches for weeks, you’re not sleeping. And we both know how I do on the road.”
I tried to steady my breathing. “So you’re just what? Not going to have kids with me?”
“I didn’t say that,” she said carefully. “I just said I wouldn’t do it right now. It’s not practical.”
“Sloan, this is the best I can do. I can’t change it.”
“I know. But that means you have to be realistic about what you can have—what we can have—until this situation improves. Lots of couples put off having kids while they focus on their careers. It’s fine.”
But it wasn’t fine. Not to me and not to her either, no matter what the hell she said to try to make me feel better about it.
The background music from the opening band came to an end. We both heard it. Zane handed me my Red Bull and held up a hand, letting me know I was on in three minutes.
Sloan’s voice softened. “Look, you have to go on. Let’s talk about this later, okay? You don’t need to be worked up about this before your show.”
I put my fingers on my temples. “Sloan—”
“Call me tonight, Jason. I love you.”
The line went dead.