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Florence makes a quiet, amused noise. “You’re sweet.”
“Thanks,” Luca tells her, and then: “I think I’m really high.”
“Me too,” Florence giggles.
Luca convinces her eyelids to open just enough to see Florence’s face. Her lipstick is smudged, and her dark hair is frizzy from the heat and the humidity, curling at her temples. There’s a mole like a beauty mark above the left corner of her mouth that Luca never noticed before. It’s like the cross on a pirate’s map, pointing at some kind of treasure.
“I think I can see your aura,” Luca tells her.
“Really,” says Florence.
“Mm-hm.” Luca reaches up to touch Florence’s cheek. “It’s this really pretty blush pink. It’s all around you.”
Florence laughs, delighted. “Oh? What does the pink mean?”
Luca frowns. She’s still pondering her answer when Toni’s voice cuts through the silence. “Hey. Do you guys want any more drinks?”
Florence’s fingers are still absently petting Luca’s hair as she asks Toni to get them both some water. It’s nice, Luca thinks. To not have to speak, or move, or do anything at all except breathe and look up at Florence. Upon further consideration, the aura might just be the red neon light haloing Florence’s hair in the smoke-filled air. She looks so, so beautiful.
“Florence?” she says.
“Hm?”
“I really wish I kissed you that day.”
For just a second, Florence’s hand stills. “Yeah,” she says softly. “Me too.”
Luca nods. Even in this state, she knows it doesn’t really matter. It’s too late to do anything about it now.
It’s still nice to hear it, though.
After a moment, Florence goes back to carding her fingers through Luca’s hair. She closes her eyes, and drifts.
It’s two a.m. by the time they make it back to the hostel after a meandering, giggly walk along the canals and a brief stop to eat their body weight in chips. When they stumble into their room, Luca changes haphazardly into a fresh pair of boxer shorts and an oversized T-shirt before tumbling into bed next to Izzy. The room is stiflingly hot. Luca dozes off with Izzy’s hair tickling her cheek and the scent of lemons still clinging to her skin.
If I could go back
I’d meet you in the downpour
Stand there til our lips turn blue
Til I’ve drowned myself in you
18
The venue in Amsterdam feels like the seventh circle of hell. Standing under the bright stage lights, Florence is sure most of her makeup has melted off within the first song. Security has spent just as much time passing out water bottles to the audience, all of whom surely have it even worse.
They’re in the middle of “swallow me.” Dubbed the cannibalism love song by Izzy, it sits right at the intersection of sensual and disquieting—Florence’s favorite place to play, as far as songwriting is concerned.
Her voice is at the lowest point of her range for this verse, a raspy growl. Prowling the edge of the stage, she sings, “Would you let me? / Sink my teeth into your throat / crawl between your ribs / make myself at home inside you / it’s the warmest place I know.”
On the last word, she bends down to pick up the water bottle one of the security guards left on the stage for her. It sweats against her palm as she straightens again, taking a quick sip while Toni’s guitar whines plaintively, layering over Izzy’s heavy bass line. They both have their own bottles, as does Miray. Florence tries to make eye contact with Luca, but she’s somewhere else entirely; for all that she is easily distracted during sound check or band practice, it’s almost impossible to break her focus when they’re on stage.
“Don’t care who does the biting,” Florence continues, voice sliding higher, breathier. “Just so long as it ends / with me a part of you / with one of us consumed.”
Luca’s eyes finally meet hers as Florence rounds the drum riser. There’s a confused little furrow between her brows as Florence comes up behind her, microphone in one hand and the bottle, uncapped, in the other.
“Is it hunger or is it love?” she sings as she leans down next to Luca. “Oh, I never learned the difference.” With the knuckles of her right hand, she urges Luca to tilt back her head. Luca blinks at her, eyes dark and bottomless in the pulsing red light. “But I am starving, baby.” Holding her gaze, Florence lifts the bottle to Luca’s mouth. “Swallow me.”
