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“And why can’t our moms know about this?”
The way Marcus had immediately blamed the Morenos last night made me certain I couldn’t tell my moms. They’d do the same thing. And they’d probably ask twice as many questions about how I’d found out. “Because I don’t want to ruin their Christmas.”
“But you want to ruin mine? This is my last one, you know.”
“Stop,” I said, yanking open the door and getting in the car.
He climbed in after depositing his bag in the backseat. “What? You’re the one who keeps constantly reminding me of that.”
“Yeah, well, it is. Not your last Christmas, of course. But the last time you’ll be here for all of December.”
“I know,” he said. And for the first time since I’d started saying that, there was a crack in his voice. The only thing new was me telling him about the lawsuit. It was obviously affecting him as much as it was me. My eyes burned, and I was quiet as he pulled onto the street.
After several minutes I said, “I’m going to figure out who’s suing. Talk some sense into them. One person shouldn’t get to ruin Christmas.”
“Oh really?” he said. “How are you going to do that?”
“I’m working on it.”
I’d seen Ryan three times so far today. Once that morning in the parking lot. He was standing at the trunk of his car, putting his backpack on, when Marcus and I parked. We locked eyes, but neither of us said anything when I walked by. Marcus had mumbled something about lawsuits and privilege under his breath. I was grateful it wasn’t loud enough for Ryan to hear.
The second time I saw Ryan was between third and fourth periods in the west hallway. I’d never seen him between those two periods before. Had he gone out of his way to bump into me? We barely acknowledged each other, though, just a quick eye lock as we passed. Was he regretting last night? Our kiss. He was giving me nothing in our shared looks. Not a smirk. Not even a crinkle of his eyes. Nothing.
And that brought me to now, the start of lunch. I saw him first, on the far side of the hall, laughing with one of his friends. Fiona was walking next to me, and she saw him too because she said, “It’s your hot neighbor.”
“Yeah,” I said.
It was like he could hear us because he looked up and we met eyes once again. And once again, I could read nothing in his expression. It made my heart sink a little.
“We going to the art room today?” Fiona asked as if we didn’t go there most days.
I almost blurted out about how I’d kissed Ryan the night before, but something stopped me. Maybe I knew Fiona would make a big deal about it, be too loud in this packed hallway. Maybe it was this uncertainty I suddenly felt. After all, I had initiated our kiss. Both of our kisses. He hadn’t stopped me, but were they unwanted? Too soon? Had his parents gotten to him? Was he worried about hurting his family?
I averted my gaze and kept walking. “Yes, art room.”
“How’s your project going?” Fiona asked.
“I’m thinking about creating a small-scale 3-D snow globe with plastic and paint, maybe some wire too. I need to find a way to make the snow swirl. Like actually be moving art.”
“That would be really cool.”
“Yeah, but I can’t even figure it out for the big one in the yard. How to make the snow stay afloat. I need to do it before Christmas Eve when the votes double.”
“Have you tried one of those blowers they use to keep inflatable costumes inflated?”
“Tried it. The paper just sticks to the sides or never leaves the ground.”
She opened the door to the art room, and we walked inside.
“Hey, Mr. Cole,” I said.
“Hello, ladies.”
Link and Leilani, our other friends from art class, were there. Fiona and I waved and walked to the far corner. I flung my backpack onto the dried-paint-splattered table and dug out my lunch. My phone was in my bag too and I took that out, casually glancing at my screen. There were no waiting messages, nobody telling me to meet them in some quiet back hallway to talk. Nobody making a joke about the multiple rounds of eye contact we had made today. Not even a Hey, miss you.
I could’ve texted him. But I’d already initiated something major. I needed him to make the next move, if there was another move to make. Maybe we were only going backward from here.
“What’s up?” Fiona asked. Had my expression changed?