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It’s a testament to how frazzled I am that I don’t immediately pull away. Nero effortlessly keeps me up, and I’m foolish enough to rest in his strength for a beat and then two. “I’m fine,” I say, too late and entirely unconvincingly.

“You’re not.” He all but supports me as we make our way to the Moon’s temple.

I stare into the shadows of the entrance, more tired than I’ve ever felt but still reluctant to go inside. “What happened on the bridge?” I don’t know if I expect him to tell me, or if I’m just stalling.

“They went over.”

I twist to look at him in shock. “What?”

“Surprised us, too.” He shrugs. “They shouldn’t have survived the fall, and they certainly shouldn’t be as whole and hale as they seem to be after spending time in the Verso River. Right about now, they should be suffering from ague.”

I glance at the Wheel of Fortune’s temple. “They had luck on their side.” Thank the gods Vesper’s luck held. They must have kept a firm hold on Cato despite everything to ensure he was protected as well.

“This time.” I can feel Nero studying me, even if I don’t look at him. “Is that your blood?”

“It’s the Chariot’s. I killed him.” Each time I say the words, numbness crawls up my throat. A second death at my hands, and if it was far more desperate and far less predatory than killing the Hermit, it’s still murder. Strange how I didn’t think taking a life would bother me so much. “I had no choice.”

Nero is watching me closely, looking a little unsure. “Okay.”

But I’m already shaking my head. “No, that’s a lie. I made a choice. To save Vesper by killing the Hermit. To trap the Chariot, even if I didn’t know what I was doing in the moment. In the shadow realm, I could have run. I just needed the space to picture my destination. He would have died eventually. I’d still be to blame, but his blood wouldn’t currently paint my skin.”

“The shadow realm.” His brows wing up. “So there is a space in between when you jump.”

I probably shouldn’t have revealed that. Tomorrow, maybe I’ll care. “It’s horrible. Dark and soft and silent. I don’t ever want to go back.” I shudder. “The Chariot attacked, just like you said he would.” At that, I pause. “If you and Death were so invested in me surviving, why didn’t you just kill the Chariot and be done with it?”

“We were going to.” He says it so frankly, as if there was never any doubt that they could. “But the Magician had to go first.”

“Why?”

“Ask Death.”

“That’s difficult to do when he’s avoiding me.” And doing a rather thorough job of it, too, except for when he intervened with Nonnie. I shake my head again, my brain swishing sickeningly in my skull. “If he doesn’t want me dead—”

“He doesn’t.”

“—and you don’t want me dead—”

“I don’t.”

I throw up my hands. “Then why not just make an alliance with us and be done with it? There are only seven champions left. Most likely, two more will die tonight and that will be the end. Why not work together and take down the Star and the High Priestess?” I feel like I’m being torn in half. I can’t kill Death. I don’t even know if I want to anymore. I don’t trust him, but if he’s telling the truth … Gods, my head hurts.

He shrugs. “The main condition of my alliance with Death—aside from the first night—is that I obey without question. He seems to have a reason for every choice he makes, including this one.”

“That’s not good enough.” I can’t help thinking of Death’s words earlier. He said he had no choice in executing my mother, but that’s bullshit. Even if I were to argue that I had to kill the Chariot to save myself, I still made the choice.

Nero catches my hand. “It’s all I have.” He pulls me a little closer. He’s so tall, I have to crane my neck to meet his onyx gaze. “He and I are in alignment when it comes to you. You’ll survive, Kestrel. We’ll make sure of it.”

I should pull my hand away. Not only because his touch sears through my skin in a way that has nothing to do with heat and everything to do with awareness. But also because touching him makes me suddenly so very aware of how much of my body is covered in blood. I don’t move. “I’m so tired.”

“I know. I am, too.” His shoulders dip, just a little, making him seem all that much more human. “It’s almost over.”

Two more deaths. Two more and then we’re done.

I need to go into the Moon’s temple, to scrub my skin until the memory of killing the Chariot fades, to try to sleep and hope the image of the knife in Mara’s back doesn’t follow me into that space in between. “What happened to your settlement?”

He sucks in a surprised breath. For a moment, I think he won’t answer me, but he finally nods, almost to himself. “Living in places without walls comes with a significant risk. Everyone in the river settlements knows it—we don’t have a choice about that knowing, not when we’re pressed up against the wilds—but we’ve found our own way, our own methods of protection. It’s not as foolproof as…” He trails off, his gaze going to the distant wall. “But it’s something.”

I want to know what that protection looks like, but it’s not the question that needs to be asked right now. I stay silent and wait for him to continue.