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“Jeremy was one of the surgeons when I had my bypass. And Kelly volunteers at my church’s food bank, and she operated on Karl Senior when he broke his leg falling off the ladder that one time. And speaking of the food bank, we could always use more volunteers, Tiff, and if—”

“Tiffany works a lot, Mom,” Karl said gently.

But Evelyn, as prone to digressions as she was, was not easily sidetracked and returned to Theo. “You’ve been friends with the Nielson girl for a long time, right?”

“Yes.” Theo caught the death glare from his mom just in time and reminded himself that Evelyn was just nosy, which as, annoying as it could be, wasn’t exactly a crime. “Ever since we moved here.”

“I was so happy when Karl took that job,” Evelyn said. “It feels fated, doesn’t it? My boy comes home, and you find a lovely girl to settle down with.”

Tiffany choked on her wine, leading to several minutes of sputtering while Karl rubbed her back. “Theo’s only eighteen, Evelyn,” she said, eyes watering.

“How many times do I have to remind you? Call me Mama,” Evelyn said.

“I think Tiff’s point is that eighteen-year-olds don’t really settle down, and shouldn’t for a while,” Karl said mildly.

“I was eighteen when I met your father,” Evelyn argued. “And just twenty-two when I had you. Sarah Johnson’s oldest just got married, and she can’t be more than twenty-one.”

“Times have changed, Mama,” Karl interjected. “And Theo isn’t Sarah Johnson’s oldest.”

“Madison. No, that’s not right—Addison. That’s the oldest Johnson girl, right?” Evelyn mused, obviously not picking up what everyone was trying to shove into her hands. “Theo?”

Theo had no idea what the oldest Johnson girl’s name was, but he had enough Evelyn experience to know that she wouldn’t let it go until he answered, and they couldn’t end the Avery conversation until this part was settled. “Madison,” he said confidently.

Evelyn pursed her bright red lips. “No, it’s Addison,” she said definitively. “She’s the one who got married.”

“Right, but that doesn’t mean Theo is going to get married at twenty-one,” Tiffany said. “I got married at twenty-three, remember. I don’t think we want Theo re-creating my mistakes.”

“I know your ex was terrible, dear, but it did get you Theo. And the other one got you Jake,” Evelyn insisted, because Karl’s mom was good-hearted, but also incredibly, incredibly oblivious, often to the point of being almost shitty.

“It did, but I think everyone here can agree those didn’t work out well as relationships go, and Theo doesn’t need to be thinking about marriage right now. Theo, I need some help in the kitchen, if you don’t mind?” She added that last part hastily, clearly catching a look in Theo’s eye that meant she needed to get him out of there before he gave up on tact.

“I can help,” Evelyn volunteered, starting to stand up.

“We’ve got it, Mama,” Tiffany said with a broad, slightly panicked grin, leading Theo into the kitchen.

She waited until Karl and Jake started talking to Evelyn before looking at Theo with dancing eyes, her lips amused. “I am so sorry,” she whispered. “I promise, you do not have to marry Avery just to make Karl’s mom happy.”

“Don’t you mean Mama?”

Tiffany rolled her eyes and handed him a stack of dessert plates. “We don’t really need to be dishing this out yet, but I had to get you out of there before you said something we’d all regret,” she said, but she didn’t sound too worried. For all her many faults, Evelyn was exceedingly forgiving.

Tiffany opened the apple pie box and started cutting slices. “But I was meaning to ask you,” she said, and then glanced back at the table to make sure no one—but probably mostly Evelyn—was listening in. “How is Avery? Does she seem okay?”

Theo frowned and added a scoop of ice cream to Evelyn’s plate. “Why wouldn’t she be okay?” He made a fake-offended face at his mom. “You think dating me is that bad?”

“Shut up,” she scolded. “No, I just meant—with her parents, that’s all. I was wondering if it seemed like everything was okay with them?”

Theo didn’t really care about the Nielsons’ marriage, all things considered. Kelly Nielson didn’t seem to like him much and Jeremy maybe liked him a little, and as a result Theo didn’t really like Kelly and found Jeremy to be tolerable, but that was about as far as his opinions on Avery’s parents went.

“She hasn’t said anything, and she would.” That wasn’t a lie; he knew things about Avery that no one else did, and if her parents were rocky, she would have said something to him.

“Okay, just checking. I know it’s not my place, but—anyway, I am glad for you guys, but I also really don’t want you to get married right now. I mean, if you do eventually that’s fine, but you do need to finish school—”

“Mom, it’s fine,” Theo cut her off. He wasn’t worried Tiffany would get overly attached to the idea of them dating—his mom had always had a pretty laid-back attitude about his dating life, and he knew she would be mildly pleased but probably not overly invested, like always, but he didn’t like the way this was going. And the more they talked about it, the worse he felt. “Avery and I have no plans to get married, okay?”

Tiffany sighed. “I don’t know why, but it’s a relief to hear that.” She nodded to the five plates of apple pie à la mode. “Let’s take this out to the table before Evelyn decides she needs to book the church for your wedding.”

Theo sent his mom a sardonic look. “Maybe now is the time to tell her I’m an atheist.”