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‘Amazing what you forget,’ he said. ‘And the little details you remember.’
‘Like what?’
‘Like the Impulse body spray my first ever girlfriend wore . . .’ he offered. Robyn’s eyes lit up and she leaned forward.
‘Or the dandruff that was always on my geography teacher’s collar.’
‘The fact that every time we ate custard at home, my dad would make the same joke. What’s yellow and dangerous?’
‘Shark-infested custard!’ Robyn finished, delighted.
‘Which is funny the first time,’ Fox said. ‘But we generally had custard at least twice a week.’ Robyn laughed outright and he let the sound flow right through him.
‘You sound like you were a close family,’ she said, and he heard the slight yearning in her voice.
‘We are,’ he said. ‘One of the first things I remember clearly is my grandad’s funeral. I was standing there in church, knowing he was in the coffin, and all I kept wondering was if he had his false teeth because I was worried he wouldn’t be able to make friends in heaven if he couldn’t talk, and I didn’t want him to be lonely.’ Fox felt like he was right back there, standing next to his mum, her hand on his shoulder.
Robyn made a sound of pure emotion and laid her hand on his heart.
‘Oh Fox,’ she said, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. ‘All these first times we’ve had before we even met.’
‘And our children have got them all to come,’ he said, shaking his head in amazement.
‘Your boys have got you, though, to see them through. To help them.’
‘And Willow has you,’ Fox said, squeezing her hand.
Fox glanced at the baby monitor, and roused himself. However much he didn’t want to leave, he didn’t like leaving the boys across the patio for too long. Even though he could be there in less than sixty seconds if he heard them, he knew it was time to go home.
‘Better go,’ he said and the hug that she offered him was the sweetest end to the night.
Fox smelled the chlorine in his hair the next morning as he showered. It had been late when he’d crept back across the patio to home and to bed and the last thing he’d wanted to do was shower. So, his hair and his skin still held the memory of the pool the next day. As he sluiced it off with his lemony shower gel, he found himself whistling in the shower.
It took him right back to the night before – not the sex, but lying back, flat out, floating beneath the night sky. The thin crescent moon above, the water supporting his body, and Robyn’s hand in his. It had been one of the most amazing nights of his life. It wasn’t just skinny dipping for the first time, nor their unbelievable sex, but the whole night that followed that left its mark – their conversation, the intimacy of memories shared underneath the blanket.
Glancing out of the window towards the pool house as he pulled on his fresh white T and zipped up his jeans, he wondered what Robyn was doing that day. He thought she’d mentioned getting together with the girls later at Tutto Mio, but she hadn’t said anything about this evening. Maybe he could pop over again later, or maybe they could both get a babysitter and go out for dinner or to the cinema? Plus there was a pub quiz on Mondays at the rowing club. He reckoned between them they might be quite good. Their knowledge complemented each other’s quite well. He knew nothing about nature, she knew very little about technology; she knew geography, he knew history; she loved pop, he was a soul guy.
It was only when he had shrugged on his red and blue checked shirt that he stopped dead. What was he thinking? Going out in public? Eating dinner together or being a quiz team? Like a real couple?
Fox shook his head, half laughing to himself, but the thought niggled at him. He wanted to see her tonight, not just to ravish that amazing body that could take him places he frankly had never been before but to talk and laugh and just be in her company. Though it might all be fun and games between them, in all seriousness, he liked Robyn. He liked her open spirit and sense of adventure. He liked the way she listened intently, with her head tilted to the side. He liked the way she laughed and it sounded like a brook bubbling. He liked her.
Did she feel the same, though? He thought about her eyes softening sometimes when he said her name, the way she laid her hand on his forearm to tell him something. Maybe the signs were all there, he’d just not been looking for them.
Shocked at his own thoughts, his mind flitted, horrified, back to Meg. His excitement turned to guilt. He’d loved her so much. How could he be thinking thoughts like this when he still found himself mourning the future they’d dreamed of?
Why was it all so difficult? How could he live with these fucked-up feelings? He groaned out loud.
But wait, it wasn’t like he was suggesting a long-term relationship, was it? It wasn’t like he was proposing more than a bit of fun for a few weeks. He wasn’t replacing Meg. He just liked Robyn. It was nothing more than that. He wasn’t looking to double date with Alex and Amber, or introduce her as his girlfriend. They were just enjoying each other’s company until she left. He considered the facts, then stood, reassured. It was all okay, and he could make the most of the month they had left.
Having convinced himself, he checked his work calendar on his phone. Nothing in his calendar; he’d kept the day free of meetings for him to focus. But instead of that, he was going to go and tell Robyn right this minute, right now, that he would like to spend the day with her. There was nothing wrong with that.
Having buckled his belt and kicked his feet into his boots, he was just turning towards the door when his phone rang. The office.
‘Yes,’ he said, trying but failing to mask his disappointment.
‘Good morning to you too, boss,’ Erin chirped down the line.
‘Sorry. Morning, Erin. Everything okay?’