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“Really? No one?”

“You’re the first.” I hold her tighter. “You’re making me break all my rules.”

She pauses, her fingers moving back and forth over my forearms as she seems to think hard about something. “I don’t want to change you, Rhode, or hold you back from your future, no matter how much fun we have giving each other orgasms. I know you want to get married, so if you meet someone else, just be honest and tell me if things change. I can’t promise that feelings won’t get involved, but let’s agree to talk.”

She’s right, and I don’t want to hold her back from her dreams in Argentina. The life as a partner of an NHL player is intense, but the thought of sleeping with anyone who’s not Nina makes me nauseous.

“I know I said I don’t want something casual, but how about we do this until you leave? Because I like you, Nina, and I want to spend more time with you.” I force out my next question. “Are you seeing other people?”

She hesitates. “Not right now, but I’ll tell you if that changes… Is that okay?”

A surge of jealousy rushes through me at the thought of another man’s hands on her. Is this what people in their twenties do now?

I’m not going to demand more than she’s willing to give. The next time we sleep together, I’ll make sure she gets at least five orgasms if I’m competing with other men.

No, ten. Twenty. We’ll go all night.

I force a neutral tone. “I won’t lie, I hate the idea of you with another man. I don’t fucking share, but for now, I’m happy right here, so I’ll take what I can get from you even though I’m supposed to be married with kids by now.”

“What? Says who, Rhode? Who says you need to be married with kids by now?”

“I don’t know. People. My mom, who keeps asking me for grandkids. Pretty much everyone.”

“Well, you don’t,” she says in that passionate voice of hers. “You don’t need to have the perfect family just because everyone says so. If that’s really what you want, amazing. Go for it. But if you’re only doing it because you think that’s what your life should look like, those aren’t the right reasons.”

She’s got a point, but if I don’t have a family, and I don’t have hockey, then I have nothing. Yeah, the League is draining, and it’s getting more difficult to bounce back, but I’d rather have that than nothing.

I kiss her bare shoulder, letting my lips stay on her warm skin. I can’t seem to stop kissing her. “Sometimes, I think about retiring and not renewing my contract because all of this is exhausting, but if I’m not playing, and I don’t have a family, my life’s just empty. What would I do? Coach? I’m a skater.”

“Rhode Tremblay, look at me,” she commands, twisting in the bedsheets to face me. She takes my cheeks in her hands, and I feel small all of a sudden. “You’re a cross-stitching fiend who loves unloveable cats, cares about his friends, is a little overprotective, but we’ll overlook that because it’s cute sometimes, has an excellent sense of humor since you laugh at all my jokes, and loves his family. Your career is important, but you can build whatever life you want when it’s over.”

Her words tug at something deep inside me, something I didn’t know was buried there.

I’ve never given much thought to what I want outside of hockey. The League stole all the integral parts of my twenties—the exploring, growing, failing—leaving a watered-down version thanks to all the partying.

I knew what I wanted but didn’t know who I was, I still don’t, and now, I’m like an arrow that’s hit its mark.

Stuck.

I’ve only thought about what I should have. I should have a family because it’s what everyone else has, but the thought of going from chasing around rookies to chasing around toddlers sounds exhausting. It’d be nice to meet a woman and spend some time building a life—just the two of us.

I kiss her cheek, not her lips because of her rule I’m starting to hate, but part of me is grateful for that one boundary. “I wish I’d been as smart as you when I was in my twenties. Maybe then I would’ve found someone by now.”

Her smile disappears, and she’s looking at me like I might’ve said the wrong thing again. “But then you never would’ve met me.”

I stare at her, wondering about how this funny, smart, strong girl went from my driver to my fake date to sending me voice memos after every game, and now, to a woman I know has a birthmark shaped like Texas on her right shoulder. But when she gets on that plane to Argentina, all she’ll be is a memory.

I stroke my thumb over her bottom lip, gently tugging at the soft skin. “You’re right, and that would’ve been a damn shame.”

She climbs back on top of me like the little fox she is, and because I’m greedy for her, we go for round two, then three, then four.

I lose track after the fifth.

23

NINA

“What about that woman?” I ask Rhode as his fingers twirl in my hair, the sound of children’s laughter drifting from the castle moon bounce. “She’s already got kids, so you’d be jumping right into a family. Problem solved.”