The Undertow of Evelyn Graymore
Page 77
He opened his eyes, slowly taking in his surroundings.
They were at the bottom of the Ferris wheel now, and everything appeared just as it was before. No water. No creatures or monsters from his nightmare.
Horror and concern were etched across Evie’s face.
The nightmare was gone, but now all Ethan felt was the horrifying reality of what had happened. Of what he’d just done to her.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
His hands shook as they made their way off the Ferris wheel, past the bewildered stares of the other passengers.
Evie steadied him as they walked. “Here, sit down,” she said, helping him to a bench. They both sat, exhaling deeply.
Ethan’s face burned as he kept his gaze to the ground. “I’m so sorry,” he choked out. “I–I haven't been sleeping well, and…I don't know. I guess…I think I hallucinated or something?” He turned to her, shaking his head. “God, I’m sorry, Evie. This is so embarrassing.” He paused. “Are you alright?”
She studied him intently before speaking. “It’s…okay. Are you alright?” she asked, her voice soft and cautious.
God, look what you did, he thought.
Ethan rubbed the back of his head. “I’m fine. I just—” He paused and grabbed her hand. “I feel like a dumbass. I think it was just a combination of no sleep, the heights, and the nightmares. I freaked out for no reason. I’m so sorry.”
“You don’t have to keep apologizing,” she said.
He squeezed her hand. “I do, though.” His gaze was intense. “I had the most amazing kiss with the most beautiful woman and then had a panic attack and probably freaked you the fuck out.” He scrubbed his face. “This just isn't how this night was supposed to go.”
Evie forced a smile, her gaze distant. “You said you were having nightmares?”
Ethan laughed weakly and nodded, fidgeting with his hands. “Yeah. They’re really stupid stress dreams…I’m—” He paused and looked back at the ground. “In the dream…I’m drowning, and I can't breathe.” He looked down at the ground. “And there’s…something. Some kind of…monster with me.”
Evie’s jaw tightened. She leaned in, her grip tightening on his hand. “What…kind of…monster?” she asked slowly.
Don’t make this worse for yourself, he thought, chewing his cheek. You sound insane. Lie.
Ethan hesitated. “Oh, just some—I’m not really sure, actually. But it had these crazy golden eyes.” He laughed and shook his head. “I should probably start yoga or learn to do meditation or something. It’s so stupid, but they're just anxiety dreams, that's all.”
He turned back to Evie. Her face was contorted in confusion, her gaze distant. Silence hung between them as she stared out at the water. All he wanted was to pull her close again. To have the feeling they’d shared before he went and fucked everything up.
Ethan brought his hand to her face and tilted her head toward him. “Hey,” he said softly. “I’m okay…really.”
Evie’s gaze found his with a forced smile on her face. There was a strange sadness in her eyes, and the guilt gnawed at him.
“Yeah…I’m glad you’re okay.”
You really scared her…
Ethan let go of her hand and stood. “I should probably head home. Get some actual sleep for once.”
Evie nodded slowly. “Yeah. I think that's a good idea…”
They walked in silence toward the main stretch of the pier. Any other time, the silence between them was comfortable, but this time was different.
Ethan’s mind raced, trying to find a way to recover. Such an amazing night, gone, just like that. It was all his fault.
As they neared the end of the pier, Ethan remembered what he'd planned on asking her before everything had gone to shit.
The yacht party.
It felt stupid and trivial now, but if he didn't ask, he never would.