Page 19
My heart skips. Still, I smile, leaning in, just a breath apart from him, but not enough to bring myself in line with his lips… though, I let my eyes trail down there…
He parts them on a silent exhale, then I flick my gaze back up to him and drop my smile. “No.” I grip the door handle and pull away. “Now leave.”
His warm hand covers my mouth, taking me off guard and I don’t realise that he’s spun us into my room, my back now pressing into the wall, his hand over my mouth and his hard body pressing into me until it’s too late. My heart gallops and frustration bubbles in my chest at my traitorous body and the reaction it has to him as he holds my stare.
He sold you out.
Stop.
“I don’t think you want me to leave,” he murmurs, the low vibrations drilling right through me to the most untrustworthy part of my body that remembers exactly what he feels like.
It’s just your body’s reaction, I remind myself.
My teeth trap the soft flesh of my bottom lip to try to gain some semblance of common sense and control over these lustful feelings, all while he watches every little movement.
I’m about to open my mouth in an attempt to speak, but his hand firms on face as footsteps sound in the hallway. Time seems to stand still as they stop by my room and linger. Anyone could walk in right now and catch us. My chest stops moving. Kain’s mossy eyes roam over me with a homesick mist clouding them, not a single one of his muscles give any sign of nerves, just that stupid smirk as he glances towards the hallway.
He’s going to get me sent back. I squeeze my eyes shut with the thought, commanding every single nerve in my body to not make any noise.
Then, whoever was outside retreats. They were here for a few seconds, but it felt like years.
He removes his hand, dragging his thumb across my bottom lip and I release a relieved breath.
“You can live in your delusions and believe I don’t want to leave you.” I shrug. “But I’ve never wanted anything more in my life.” I grin and his jaw ticks for a split second. I push at his chest, making him stumble slightly. “I want to see you as little as possible,” I seethe. I’m out of ideas on how to get him to go, but I don’t know what’s pissing me off more—him, the pounding of my heart in my ears, or the feelings I thought I did a good job of burying.
That cocky grin doesn’t return, and I think my efforts are paying off. I throw my chin to the door, prompting him to leave.
His finger and thumb grip my chin, forcing me to look at him. His grip is tight enough I have no way of getting out of his hold. “Look me in the eyes and tell me you really want me to leave, Jordie.”
I don’t hesitate. I look him dead in the eyes and lean into him, his face becoming a blur from our closeness. “Leave.” I shove my finger towards the exit.
He pushes off the wall at the same time as he drags his finger under my chin, eliciting goosebumps all over before retreating. “You’ll be back to see me again, little devil.”
My teeth clench painfully at the use of the nickname.
The door clicks shut and I’m left with only the glow of the moon. As any mature adult would do, I spin and throw my middle finger up at the closed door, silently cursing him.
I sigh, flinging another one of my suitcases open, and it’s like opening Pandora’s Box. All remnants of my old life come soaring out like violent eagles, sharp wings whipping me in the face when I see a polaroid of me and Kain in his bed. Both wrapped up in his hoodie’s—mine was way too big on me, basically drowning me—his arm clutched around me, soft gaze and smile fixed on me like I was his saving grace. And me, looking at the lens, eyes bright and crinkled from laughing.
A moment frozen in time of a life that was never really real.
Something violent twists in my chest and my fingers grip the photo so tightly it crumples the edges.
He’s looking at me. Eyes full of a love that was never true.
“You don’t get to look at me like that,” I grit through clenched teeth and fling the polaroid under the bed. “Never again.”
I don’t know why the thought of Lacey and him starting a life together start swirling around as I unpack my things. They shouldn’t be on my mind but something ugly continues to bury in my chest. Deeper and deeper. Maybe it’ll reach that stone wall I’ve been building and hurl itself off it to die.
I yank the drawers open with more force than necessary before I shove all my belongings into them.
A new life.
One I’ll do my damnest to unravel the Westbrook secrets and expose them to the entire town.
One that may include Samuel, but one that doesn’t include Kain.
A rapid knock on my door rises me from my fitful slumber. I jerk upright, panic settling in as I wake in a space I’m not familiar with, reminding me of my first month at St Anton’s and how I’d wake with a scream, wishing for someone who would never show.
