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Pressing my knee into the middle of his back, I grab his hair and yank his head back. “How the fuck did you know about that box?”

He launches me off his back, making me land flat on the floor.

“What fucking box?” he scowls as he scrambles to straddle me, pinning my arms to my sides with his legs.

“Stop,” Camila demands from behind us, but neither of us pay her any attention.

“What are you gonna do, huh? Pummel me to death?” I taunt. His nostrils flare as he glances over to his discarded weapon. He clenches and relaxes his fists repeatedly on his legs.

Grabbing me by my shirt, he presses his forehead to mine, our angry breaths filling the silent studio. “Get. The fuck. Out of here. Now,” he growls, roughly letting go of my shirt but still keeping me pinned.

“I’m not going anywhere until Camila hears me out,” I spit back.

Jacques cuts his gaze to her, as do I. She’s standing in the corner of the room, arms folded over her chest, hands hidden inside the oversized sleeves of her jumper. And the look on her face is enough to make me give up the fight.

My muscles loosen, and so does Jacques’ hold on me.

Her green eyes blink away from me to Jacques. She gently shakes her head at him, and my chest tightens.

“Get the fuck out before I make you,” Jacques says, his voice low and threatening.

I don’t look away from Camila, even though she’s not looking at me. She’s looking everywhere but at me.

For the second time.

In this moment, I grasp the fact that I might have lost her.

Every instinct is screaming at me to do exactly as she said. Chain her to this goddamn pole and never let her out of my sight again.

But the sadness in her eyes dissipates all the shadows that once wrapped around my brain. And maybe for the last time. Because if this is the last time I get to see her face, then those moments of reprieve from the demons in my brain were worth it.

“Okay,” I whisper, nodding to myself.

Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes.

Jac’s weight lifts off me, and when I open my eyes again, they’re focused straight on the door to the studio.

The studio I once thought would bring the joy I love seeing so much to her face.

Where she’d spend all the time she needed dancing, and I’d be sat in the corner, shading in all those beautiful features.

But I’m not good enough for her. I never have been, and I never will be. She deserves better than the love that I can offer her.

This isn't Jac's fault. No one is here to blame but me.

So as I take the final steps towards the door, I squeeze my eyes, pull on the handle, and let her go.

Chapter 46

Xander

Istep out into the cold night, letting the air wash over me. Rage burns in my chest, building up by the minute to something I’m not sure I’ll be able to control. Tiny spots of rain touch my skin. Looking up into the night sky, the glow of the moon pierces through the thick rain clouds, shining a spotlight onto me. Mocking me and the person I’ve become. The only thing that’s missing is an audience to witness how someone as damaged as me is losing everything he’s ever loved.

For the second time.

The rain grows, droplets becoming thicker and quicker.

The crescendo of the crying sky reaches its peak as I stand next to the fountain with the rain soaking me. My clothes stick to me, my hair plasters to my forehead, my chest heaves. My fingernails dig into the skin of my palms as if they’re begging me to feel something other than rage at myself.