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“You don’t get to explain anything.” I point to the bed. “That tells me everything.”
“Angel, you don’t understand—”
“Oh, I understand very fucking well, Xander. This was never about us. This was only ever about you.” I reach the door and pause. Xander takes a step towards me, but I pull on the handle in warning. “You’re the one who fucked up my car.”
He swallows, hands still in the air as if he’s surrendering. “Yes.”
“You were going to make me sign the termination contract.”
“Yes.”
“You only noticed me because I was wearing green?” My voice raises an octave, growling words scratching at my throat.
“Fuck, no, that’s not—” His entire body slackens, his hands dropping to his sides. He looks like a soldier who just got shot down. But a flash of realisation passes over his face. He drops to his knees, defeated.
I pull on the handle, and his face snaps up towards me.
“Do not follow me out of here,” I warn.
He places a fist to the floor, readying to push himself off, veins in his arm popping.
“You never cared about me. You’re just an obsessive stalker, Xander. You’re sick,” I yell.
In a flash, he’s on me, pressing me into the door with arms either side of me. But it’s different from how possessive he’s been over me recently. This is gentle.
“You don’t get it, do you? This isn’t me trying to control you. You’re not just a passing thought. You’re not just an obsession. This is deeper than obsession. This isn’t love, because love is not enough of a word to describe how I feel about you,” he starts, chest heaving, voice rough. “Every time I close my eyes, you’re the only face I see. You plague every waking minute of my life. When you’re not near me, I feel like I’m dying.”
He swallows, hopeless eyes still glued to mine. My own eyes start to sting. Out of sadness? Anger? I don’t know.
“It’s you that I think about when my head starts spinning. It’s you that I think about when I can’t sleep. When you’re near me, my head is silent. You are the one thing I can’t lose." He blows out a calming breath. "There's no alternate universe where you and I don’t exist. You’re embedded so deep in my soul that even when we're both dead, I will still find my way back to you. You can push me away as much as you want, but I will always be your shadow. You’ve awakened something in me that’s been cold and dead for a long time, Angel. And I can’t let you go. I will never let you go. I fucking love you, Camila. Even if you hate me."
The world stops spinning, but my own head feels detached from my body.
A tear slips out of those baby blue eyes I’ve been finding myself lost in over the last few weeks.
Scrunching my lips, I punch his chest away from me, and he stumbles backwards.
I use this opportunity to open the door and wedge myself between the frame and the door.
“Jacques was right,” I say, and Xander’s face morphs into anger. “You hurt me, Xander.” These are the final words I say before I stumble out of the doorway, straight towards the small hallway table, grabbing Xander’s keys from the bowl.
His footsteps follow behind me. I’m out of the front door within seconds, barrelling towards his car.
I press the key fob, unlocking it and near enough launching myself into the leather seat. I lock the door behind me, my erratic breaths fogging up the window, only allowing me to see Xander’s unclear frame fast approaching the car.
“Fuck,” I squeal, shakily shoving the key into the ignition.
A bang echoes throughout the car, Xander’s hands hitting the window.
“Angel, open the fucking door.”
“Fuck you, Xander!” I call back. The windscreen is still fogged up, but I hit my foot on the accelerator and blast the heating on. The car lurches forward, and I swing the wheel to the left. I straighten the car speeding down the pathway out of the lodge.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, what now?” I shout to myself. “I’m in the middle of fucking nowhere.”
I left my phone in the cabin. I don’t even have my shoes on.
Cursing, I tap my fingers on the car screen, praying this car has a function to connect to your phone even if not in range. My feet shake on the pedals. I turn the heating up, trying to rid the windscreen of fog.