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Colten

Song- High Water, Sleep Token

The breeze blows through Gianna’s curls, and she hasn’t taken her eyes off the star-filled sky the whole boat ride back to our dock.

“Do you want to drive?” I ask, easing off the gas as we approach.

“No.”

Oh, this is a new version of my wife. The grumpy one.

“Okay… Well, can you give me verbal instructions on parking an eight-hundred-grand yacht? I don’t want to scratch your new baby” I ask in a playful tone, trying to coax a reaction from her.

She half-laughs, but it’s blunt. Void of emotions. I heard every word she said to Nikos on the comms. The part that broke a piece of me was when she spoke about Max. How he was on his way to propose to his girlfriend when he was shot down. The pain in her voice—it gutted me. She’s mourning someone she loved, and I can’t fix that for her. But I know how loss feels, and I want to help her.

She stands and heads over to me, which makes my heart flutter. “Move.” She waves me away with her hand.

Now isn’t a time to challenge her, so I do as she says, letting her line up the yacht.

“Toss the rope at the bow to the man at the dock,” she commands, pointing forward.

I hesitate for a split second. The what? What man? Oh. I see him.

“The damn front of the boat, Colten,” she snaps.

I stride past her. “Watch your tone with me, G,” I say under my breath as I pass her.

Nothing. Not even a sassy quip back.

I hop out of the boat onto the quay, turning to hold my hand out to help her. Reluctantly, she takes it.

I hand the guy some cash, and we head towards the parking lot in silence. As we reach the car, she grabs the handle of the passenger door, but I don’t unlock it.

Instead, I follow her there, push her against the metal, and lace my fingers around her neck.

“Talk to me, G,” I implore, pressing my nose against hers, almost tasting the vodka on her breath.

She lets out a shaky breath. “I thought that would feel better. That I’d feel somewhat lighter about Max after I’d killed Nikos.” She pauses. “But I don’t. If anything, it’s made it hurt worse. Because it reminds me death is the end and Max is never coming back.”

I close my eyes, resting my forehead against hers. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m so fucking sorry,” I murmur.

She shakes her head. “I don’t want pity, Colten. I want it to not feel like I have a gaping hole in my chest that I can’t fill. How do I do that?”

She sniffles, and I swear my own chest cracks in two. Wiping away her tears with my thumb, I press a kiss to her temple.

“You don’t fill the hole, viper. Not yet, anyway. You have to let it hurt. Let it exist inside you. If you shut it out, it only festers and gets bigger. Embrace the pain, the grief, all the bad shit.”

She hiccups, and I tip her chin up.

“Don’t you dare ever tell a soul that I cried, Colten. I mean it. Gianna Milano does not cry.”

“Unless the tears are from my big dick fucking your mouth. Right?” I whisper.

She giggles in response. So I lean in, brushing my lips over hers. “You’re Gianna Sterling now. And she is allowed to feel things. This is the time you finally get to decide who you really want to be. It’s part of the vows,” I tell her.

My hand slides up the base of her skull, and I take her hair in my fingers and tug her head back, making her hiss out. “See, pain. Feel it,” I say, my voice low.

“Pain ain’t always a bad thing, sweetheart.”