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Garrett gasped. “Why did you lie to me about that?”

“Because Lieutenant Commander Ridgewood sat me down minutes before that to tell me about the recruitment and that that night’s mission would mean leaving you to think I died.”

“You could have told me,” Garrett said, his face paling.

“They threatened me and the job of whoever I told. I would have been arrested. We would have been dishonorably discharged for fucking treason. I couldn’t do that to you.”

“No, why did you lie to me about being gay?” Garrett was crestfallen.

Rafe slumped. “I thought it would be easier for you to lose a friend that night than someone you saw a future with. If I told you I was crazy about you and you had feelings for me, I thought that would hurt so much more. I tried to spare you by making you think it was only friendship between us. I’m sorry, but I would do anything to protect you, and that includes your heart, so you can be mad at me for lying—I get that—but you need to know that I tried to spare you every ounce of pain I could.”

He had to take a deep breath once he finished. He looked up at Garrett through his lashes, wondering if he’d punch him, throw him out or something worse. Garrett’s shoulders rose and fell as he took deep breaths.

“You fucking asshole,” Garrett croaked, and closed the distance between them, pressing his chest against Rafe’s and attacking his mouth with a bruising kiss that knocked Rafe’s head into the wall.

Rafe didn’t expect to be punished with Garrett’s lips against his.

Rafe whimpered as Garrett opened his mouth and slipped his tongue between the seam of his lips. Passion and aggression surged through the kiss. Garrett bit Rafe’s lip and he tasted copper.

Garrett pulled back for a second to take a breath, and Rafe’s gaze widened as he caught Garrett’s tear-filled eyes. Rafe pulled Garrett against his mouth, and they continued to make out against the wall, Rafe groaning when the hard bulge in his pants pressed against Garrett’s.

A frustrated grunt erupted from Garrett, and his hands slid down from the wall to grab Rafe’s ass. In one swift movement, Garrett lifted Rafe off the ground and held him against the wall.

Their kissing deepened as Garrett rolled his body against Rafe’s, lining up their hard cocks and grinding like his life depended on it.

“I’m sorry,” Rafe mumbled between kisses. “Wanted you so bad, but wanted to protect you.”

“I grieved for you,” Garrett growled. “I cried with your mother and your brother at your fucking funeral. I had to watch her get a folded flag.”

Tears escaped Garrett’s eyes as he berated Rafe, but his thrusting continued. The fabric of their sweatpants gave Rafe a delicious burn on his dick, and he relished the pain almost as much as the pleasure. He deserved all the pain in the world for hurting Garrett like he did.

“I know. I’m sorry. Take it out on me. Take whatever you need.”

Garrett continued his assault on Rafe’s lips, and Rafe writhed against Garrett’s body. As Garrett pushed him into the wall, Rafe’s hands slid across Garrett’s back, into his damp hair, pulling at the strands to angle Garrett’s mouth where he wanted it. Garrett’s movements intensified and one of his hands slid farther down his body trailing along the crease of his ass over his sweatpants, pressing over his hole.

The sensation hit Rafe hard, and he came in long bursts in his pants.

“Garrett!” he shouted.

Garrett tensed against Rafe and yelled through his own release, burying his head in Rafe’s neck.

Rafe wrapped his arms around Garrett, holding him and waiting to see what his best friend needed from him. Quiet sobs reached his ear as Garrett broke down.

“Hey, hey, I’m here,” he said, rubbing Garrett’s back. “I’m not leaving you ever again. I promise.”

Once the sobs subsided, Garrett took a step back from the wall and let Rafe settle on the floor.

“I’m sorry,” Garrett mumbled, his gaze far away and unfocused. “I took that farther than I should have.”

“Hey, I’m not complaining,” Rafe said, trying to make light of the situation, but the panic in Garrett’s eyes told him he missed the mark.

Garrett took a step back, then another. “You should complain. That’s not what this is. I can’t… We shouldn’t have done that.”

“It’s okay—”

“No,” Garrett said, cutting him off. “I’m not ready to— We should focus on your drug cartel shit. We’ll deal with that before we figure out everything else.”

As much as Rafe wanted to fight him on this, it wasn’t the right time. He took a deep breath. “Sure, if that’s what you want.”