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He taps his lips and it’s my turn to shiver.

It’s my turn to obey as I straddle his chest and bring my dick where he wants it.

Oscar splays his hands over my hips and takes me down, closing his throat around me, swallowing me whole.

Sound rips out of my chest.

I grip the headboard and curse. “I can’t take much of that if you want me to fuck you tonight.”

Oscar hums…I think.

I feel it, and it does nothing to ease the slow fire burning inside me. Sweet tension has me in a chokehold and I grit my teeth. Fighting it and losing, over and over.

It’s so good—it’s too good.

I can’t give it up.

I can’t stop.

I can’t pull my dick from his mouth.

“You’re dangerous,” I grit out.

Oscar holds me there a moment longer, then slides me free with a smile too sunny to be so filthy. “And you are beautiful like this. If that makes me dangerous to you, I can live with that as long as you feel safe with me.”

Safe.

He said that downstairs. And I’ve said it to him before. But I don’t think I knew what the word meant until I found a home in Oscar’s arms. Until he found a home in mine. And I’m beginning to realise it might be what love feels like before you know its name.

Tell him.

I want to. I need to. And so I do.

Without words.

I kiss Oscar with everything I have, pouring my feelings into a slow ride that leaves us both gasping for air. I kiss him because I can’t let go. And he doesn’t let go of me either.

Not until he needs to breathe and I wonder if he feels as dizzy as I do. If his world feels as impossibly quiet as mine does as we stare at each other in the low light of his bedroom.

His pupils are blown wide, his big hand splayed at the base of my skull, thumb rubbing absent circles there, grounding me even if he doesn’t know he’s doing it.

I search his brown eyes. Brush my nose against his. “Are you sure you want this now?”

Oscar nods before I’ve finished speaking. “I have always wanted this with you, but lately, it feels—I feel—like my body is aching for something only you have.”

I know that ache. I’ve carried it for two years. But there’s another side to it—to Oscar, and he’s as aware of it as I am.

“I want to fuck you too,” he says into the space I’ve left for him. “Not tonight, but soon, perhaps. Because I want that so much some days it is all I think about.”

“I want that too.”

He smiles again. “I know. And I love that about us. It’s a balance I did not know I was missing in my life. Though, I should have known the moment I met you.”

I didn’t know lots of things about myself until I met Oscar either, but the time to talk ebbs away. I sweep Oscar’s gaze one last time and he nods again.

“In the drawer. At the back. Someone helpful snuck what we need in there when I wasn’t paying attention.”

Curious, I reach for the drawer and find what he’s talking about. Expensive lube and two boxes of condoms—regular and magnum. “Tell me later?”