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And yet, here I am again.

Fucking useless.

The field on the outskirts of town comes into view up ahead and I blink, shaking my head. I don’t know where the hell the last five miles went or where the fuck I was during it but I’m here now. I turn onto one of the side streets and park behind the ring where the other fighters are getting ready.

A couple of them turn and eye me warily.

But I ignore it.

After killing the engine on my bike, I climb off and dig into my bag, pulling out the tape for my hands.

“How you feeling, champ?” someone asks and I turn as Jumper and Gear saunter over to me from the direction where other people are watching the fight currently in progress. I lift my chin at them in greeting but don’t say anything else.

They share a glance.

“Let’s get you taped up, killer,” Gear says and I hand the tape over to him as I turn to stare at the ring, my mind still chewing over every single question I’ve been asking myself for days.

Relentlessly.

Obsessively.

I hold my hands out, the roar of the crowd fading into the background and the stretch of the tape across my knuckles barely noticeable. Jumper and Gear are talking but I can’t hear them.

My focus is on the ring in front of me.

On what I came here to do.

And on how damn good it will feel to pound my fists into something instead of sit and fucking think.

I’m so goddamn tired of thinking.

“Shirt off, brother,” Jumper says, cutting through the calm that’s settled over me. “It’s your turn.”

I peel off my cut and pull my shirt over my head before tossing both onto my bike and turn my focus back to the ring. My opponent is waiting there but I hardly even see him anymore. In his place is every fucking question, every single doubt and I can’t wait to beat the shit out of them because when I step into this ring, I am erased.

Gone is Dalton, the man.

Gone is Rooster, the Bayou Devil.

And in their place is only one thing.

The monster.

Hyde.

Chapter Ten

Lennon

I slept last night.

I mean, like, I really slept. Despite having to wake up at four this morning to get all the treats made for the bakery, I feel rested. For the first time in six long damn months, I don’t feel like I’m dragging my tired, aching body around like a lead weight.

In fact, I’m almost convinced I could lift off the ground if I wanted to.

This morning has been… easy. I can’t think of any other word to describe it. Everything just feels so goddamn carefree and I refuse to waste time digging into why that is. Well, I mean, I think it’s pretty obvious why but when I blocked Owen, I made a choice. I decided that he doesn’t get to have sway over my life anymore. Instead, I’m just living in the moment, trying to find pieces of the girl I used to be and discover how she’s changed over these past few months. Today was a damn good start. I spent three hours this morning with my hands in flour, sugar and dough. I chatted and laughed with customers that I feel like I haven’t truly seen in so long because I’ve been walking around in a fog.

I’m happy.