Page 69

“Oh, Diego,” she answers, something broken shining through in her voice. “As you said, it’s complicated. But listen, take care of your girl, okay? And my grand baby.”

Diego nods. “You know I will.”

“Good,” she says. “Now, when do I get to meet this Isabelle?”

“We’ve got a lot going on right now but we should be able to get away and grab lunch with you sometime soon, I hope,” he replies and a flutter of nerves races through my belly. I don’t have any experience in winning over someone’s family and this is so much more important since Diego and I are bringing a baby into the mix. Making a good first impression with his mom is so damn important and it scares the hell out of me.

“Good,” Carmen chirps, dragging me out of my thoughts. “Call me when things settle down and we’ll plan something, okay?”

They talk for a few more moments, Diego promising to be more careful and not get into any more shootouts before telling her good-bye and hanging up the phone. As he ends the call, he sighs like he has the weight of the world on his shoulders and I can’t take my eyes off him, my chest aching with the stress he’s under. There is a part of me that wishes I’d never brought my problems to his door so he wouldn’t have to deal with all of this but when I try to think about handling this on my own and running for my life with no support from anyone, the ache in my chest grows. Maybe it’s selfish but I like having him here to hold me up and take care of me when this situation gets overwhelming.

Diego tosses the phone onto the table in front of him and leans back in his chair, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. His pain calls to me, tugging at my heart because I know all about difficult family dynamics, and I feel compelled to close the distance between us. My bare feet are silent against the wooden slats of the deck as I walk toward him and when I reach his chair, I lay my hand on his shoulder. His eyes shoot open and meet mine.

“Hi.”

He smiles but it’s weak. “Hi. I take it you heard some of that?”

“Um,” I answer, scrunching up my face as a wave of guilt rushes through me for eavesdropping and I shrug. “Kind of all of it. How can I help?”

“Just come here, baby,” he answers, holding his arms open for me to come sit in his lap and I do without hesitation, rounding the chair and crawling into his embrace. As soon as I’m settled, his arms lock around me and he sighs, his entire body relaxing. Looking up at him as he closes his eyes again, I want to help him in some way but I have no clue how to ease his pain and I hate it. How many times in the past three weeks has he comforted me and known just what to do? But now that it’s my turn, I’m completely lost. Sucking in a breath, I reach up and place my hand on his cheek and he leans into my touch, humming in approval as he opens his eyes.

“I’m sorry that I’m driving a wedge between you and your father.”

He scoffs. “Don’t be. There is no love lost there and he’s been ashamed of me since the moment I quit the force. Hell, before that even. There is always something wrong with me in his eyes and I promise it isn’t about you.”

“Still…”

“No, Izzy,” he growls, shaking his head and locking eyes with me. “My father is a miserable bastard and he loves to make everyone around him just as miserable as he is. It’s been this way my entire life and he’s just using you as an excuse to pile more shit on me but I won’t let him. I… I’m so fucking grateful for you and our baby. Don’t you know that?”

I suck in a breath. “I think I’m beginning to.”

“You heard the other part, too, didn’t you?” he asks, searching my gaze for an answer but I’m not sure how to respond. Does he mean the part where he said he loved me? It’s the thing that jumped to my mind as soon as he asked the question but I’ve been trying to avoid thinking about it since I heard those three little words come out of his mouth.

“I…”

With a sigh, he hooks his hand around the back of my neck and pulls me forward, claiming my lips in a kiss so earnest that a single tear streaks down my cheek. He pulls away and meets my eyes again. “I don’t want anything more from you right now, Izzy, and I don’t even expect you to respond but you need to know that I meant what I said. I’m so fucking in love with you that I will wait however long it takes, slay whatever demons stand in our way, and love you enough for the both of us until you’re ready for more.”

“And if I’m never ready?”

His brown eyes burn with intensity as he stares back at me, studying me, reading me like his favorite goddamn book. “Do you want to walk away? Leave me once this shit with Luca is all cleared up?”

I open my mouth to tell him yes but nothing comes out and I realize that I have no idea how to answer his question.

Do I want to run right this second?

No.

Am I ready to commit to him?

I… I don’t know.

“That’s good enough for now,” he says, flashing me a smile and I narrow my eyes at him as I scowl. We both know I didn’t say a damn word but just like always, he can read me like no one else can so I shouldn’t be surprised that he saw exactly what I was thinking. Rolling my eyes, I fall into his body and he holds me close as he laughs. He’s right and he knows it which only irritates me more but I don’t have the energy to fight him on it today. “I’m sorry for the things my dad said, by the way. I know I shouldn’t apologize for him but…”

“I get it,” I tell him, sitting up again and grabbing his hand. Glancing down at our laced fingers, I bite my lip and take a breath. “You’re not the only one with a shitty dad, Diego, and I know you’re not excusing his behavior.”

Forcing the words past the lump in my throat was harder and somehow also easier than I expected and I take another deep breath as I look up and meet his eyes again. He watches me, surprised and eager for more revelations but that won’t be happening today.

“I want you to know,” I tell him, reaching up and laying my hand on his cheek. Subtly, he leans into the touch and that damn ache in my chest feels like it’s swallowing me whole but this time, I kind of like it. “I am so proud of the fact that you are my baby’s father. I’ve made one hell of a mess out of all of this but there isn’t anyone better in the world or anyone else I would want to do this with, no matter how things turn out. You’re an incredible man and I know you’ll be an amazing father.”