Page 58
“Yeah, me, too,” Ali calls and I let out a huff of annoyance as the band begins to play “Worship You” by Kane Brown. Well, hell. Normally, I would just keep dancing by myself, completely unbothered but this is the kind of song you need a partner for.
“Dance with me, Mama,” Diego whispers the words against my neck as he presses his front to my back, his hands finding my hips, and a shiver races down my spine. My plan for the evening was to not give Ali or Carly any more ammunition when it comes to the current status of our relationship but God knows I can’t resist the man. Sighing, I turn in his arms. He flashes me a triumphant grin and I roll my eyes as I throw my arms over his shoulders.
“Thank you for tonight, Diego,” I say and he nods, staring down at me in a way that makes my heart jump into my throat. The words of the song wash over me and that, combined with the look in his eyes, sends a wave of heat rushing through me. All the guys dressed up tonight – or as dressed up as they get – and Diego is wearing a crisp white button up shirt that looks absolutely sinful on him. It’s highly ironic. He’s got the sleeves rolled up, shoving off his toned forearms and the tattoos decorating his skin and more than a couple times tonight, I’ve caught myself touching him there without even realizing it. God. What is it about a guy’s forearms that are so goddamn sexy? To this day and even with all the experience I have, I still can’t explain it but there is no way in hell I’m complaining.
“Am I allowed to kiss you?” There is humor in his voice and his eyes sparkle with amusement as he waits for my answer. I know I should glance over at our table and make sure Ali isn’t watching me like a hawk but at this point, I don’t care anymore. This, right here in his arms, has become my goddamn happy place in the last few weeks and I need his touch more than I need to keep us a secret.
“Yes.”
He doesn’t waste any time, swooping down and claiming my lips in a kiss that steals the breath right from my lungs. I sag against him and wind my arms around his neck, my body clinging to his in a way that is a little indecent, even for a bar. The room falls away, carrying the two of us to a place where nothing else matters and the lyrics echoing in the back of my mind make this kiss something else entirely, something new and something more. Time stops as I lose myself in it, taking everything he has to give and demanding even more. When I am in his arms like this, the world could be burning to ash around us but it wouldn’t matter, nothing else can matter when this feels like the beginning and end of me. God. Kissing Diego, it’s like coming home and he makes me happier than I’ve been in a really long time.
That thought breaks through the fog of our connection and I jerk back, staring up at him with wide eyes as I try to catch my breath.
Oh, hell.
This is not fucking good.
“You okay?” he asks and I nod, dropping my gaze to the floor and prying myself out of his grasp, feeling tense. It’s like my entire body is on lockdown. Alarms are blaring and doors are slamming shut on instinct, trying desperately to bar him and these feelings from my heart.
“Need some air.”
He nods and grabs my hand. “Okay. Let’s go.”
There is a part of me that knows I should protest him coming with me so I have a moment to get the riot in my body under control but I also know it’s a bad idea. The bar might be safer than anywhere else in town with Luca running around trying to kill me but it’s still not safe and it would be stupid to go outside without him. As we pass the table, Ali flashes me a concerned look but I ignore her as Diego informs them that we’re going to get some air.
Fuck.
Why is it so hard to breathe right now?
Diego releases my hand and wraps his arm over my shoulders, pulling me into the side of his body as he leads me to the door. It’s too much. I want to shove him away from me but I keep my hands at my sides, silently losing my shit. Can’t he see that I’m on the edge of a massive panic attack and that I need some fucking space? I scoff. Even if he can, he still wouldn’t release me and if I’m being honest, there’s a part of me that doesn’t want that either. It’s small in this moment and very hard to hear over the blare of the sirens but it’s there.
Outside, he guides me over to a bench a few feet away from the door and we sit down. It’s not any better though. My stomach rolls and a wave of nausea rushes over me as spots dance in front of my vision. Without warning, my mind drifts to how right it felt for him to kiss me in the middle of the dance floor for the whole world to see and I shake my head.
Jesus.
What the hell is wrong with me right now?
I need to get my shit together.
Pulling myself out from under his arm, I lean forward and rest my elbows on my knees and I suck air into my lungs and yell at my galloping heart to chill the fuck out. It doesn’t listen. An image of the two of us standing in the middle of the bar, kissing like the world was ending flashes through my mind and I try to shove it back down but it won’t be easily subdued.
I’m going to pass out.
“Isabelle,” he says, laying his hand on my back and dragging it across my skin gently in a comforting gesture. A wave of relief washes over me from his touch.
Not good.
Very, very not good.
“Was that your grandmother’s letter you were reading earlier?”
I blink, surprised by the change in conversation and surprisingly, it quiets my mind slightly. “Yes.”
“I’m sorry that it was all I could save from your house,” he replies. Frustration is heavy in his voice and my chest aches as I think about him feeling responsible for any of this. If someone is to blame for the fact that I’ve lost everything, it’s me. Me, my big fat mouth, and my slutty ways.
And maybe Conner.
As soon as the name flashes through my mind, my whole body stiffens and I suck in a breath. Nope. I absolutely will not be delving into that hellhole tonight so I shove the thoughts away and take another breath to draw some strength back into my body.
