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A shiver winds its way down my spine as I imagine Diego wrapping his hand around my throat and meeting my gaze with the same determination I saw in his eyes before I left him standing in front of the clubhouse.

Fuck me.

“Hello? Earth to Iz?” Ali calls, yanking me out of my X-rated daydreams and I meet her gaze before glancing over at Carly, desperately trying to remember what was said just a moment ago but I’m lost. Carly arches a brow, clearly waiting for an answer from me and I scowl.

“Huh?”

Ali snorts out a laugh. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. You’re a million miles away.”

“Yeah,” I draw out, trying to think of an explanation for why I have zero idea what they’re talking other than I was picturing Diego ordering me to my knees, gripping my hair and shoving his glorious cock in my mouth. Jesus, if they knew I’ve been sitting here this whole time, trying to remind myself why I absolutely cannot go for round two with Diego, they would lose their shit. I can’t even remember how many times over the past ten years that Ali has lovingly tried to convince me to give love and dating another chance. “Lot on my mind, you know?”

Christ.

Is that really the best I’ve got?

“Such as?” Carly asks, arching a brow as she crosses her legs in front of her. Carly and I are so damn similar so she never buys my shit, always challenging me to open up to them ever since she went and fell in love with Chance.

“Oh, you know, assholes trying to kill me and all that.”

Ali’s expression softens in an instant and she reaches her hand out, covering mine in a show of support. “Are you okay, babe? You know you can tell us.”

“I’m fine,” I assure her. I’m not fine, though, but I keep those thoughts shoved to the very back of my mind as much as I can because every time I start to think about what happened in that alley or what the future holds for me, the fear is so intense that I struggle to pull air into my lungs.

“Izzy,” she scolds me, pleading with her gaze to spill my guts to her about what I’m feeling but that won’t be happening. I love these girls like sisters but there are still some lines I won’t cross. I shake my head and force a smile to my face as I nudge her with my shoulder.

“Hey, random question,” I start, hoping to distract her with something else so we don’t have to linger on my impending demise but the only other thing on my brain is sex – hot, sweaty, somewhat reckless sex with Diego. “Were you super horny during your pregnancies?”

A surprised laugh bubbles out of her and she looks over at Carly, who has a damn smirk on her face like she’s figured me out completely. It pisses me the fuck off but that might just be a side effect of how goddamn needy I feel right now. It’s not a sensation I’m used to.

“Oh, I see what’s going on here.”

Carly laughs. “How is it going with Diego?”

“What do you mean?” I balk. Am I that fucking transparent?

Ali leans back on the couch and flashes me a smile I know all too well – she’s up to no good again. “Feeling a little needy around him? Thinking about going back for seconds?”

“No… I… Well, okay, maybe I am thinking about going back for seconds but it’s just because I’m so damn horny and I can’t exactly run out and get relief from anyone else so don’t be getting any damn ideas, Alison.”

She holds her hands up like she is completely innocent even though we all know different. “I didn’t say anything! And to answer your question – yes, I was very, very horny during my pregnancies.”

“Okay, so it’s just hormones or something…” I muse, almost to myself, as I nod.

“I’m going to go with ‘or something’.” Carly laughs, rolling her eyes at me. “Something like a hot as fuck biker covered in tattoos who is sleeping in the next room and looks at you like you’re his next breath.”

“No,” I protest but it doesn’t lack the conviction I intended it to because all I can think about is Diego sleeping on the couch half naked while I lay in his bed and put my hand between my legs every single night, wishing he’d come do it for me.

“Looks like they’re wrapping up,” Ali says, glancing over at the parking lot as Hawk stalks out of the building, heading straight for his bike. I can never quite get a read on that guy and today is no different. He usually looks pissed as hell and he keeps to himself, sitting in the corner of the room and watching everyone closely. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever heard him speak and I get the feeling that he sees past all my bullshit which means I tend to not seek him out either. Hawk climbs on his bike and roars out of the parking lot, heading for his house in the middle of the property as I turn back to the girls. Ali nudges me. “Let’s go find our guys.”

I roll my eyes as we stand. “He’s not my guy.”

“Not yet,” Carly mumbles, taking a sip of her lemonade and I shake my head.

“Not now and not ever.”

She hums, meeting my gaze. “Famous last words.”

“I’m serious,” I hiss as we step into the clubhouse. “We were just sex and if anything happens between now and when the baby is born because I can’t take it anymore and need some relief, it will also be just sex.”