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“Em, you and I both know he’s not going away. We just want to keep an eye on you.”

He steps up behind me and I can feel his body heat seeping through my thin tank top, tempting me to just lean back and melt into him. It would be so easy – like breathing – and his big, strong arms would swallow me up. Would it be my salvation or my downfall?

“That’s not the only reason I want to come with you, though,” he adds.

“Why then?”

He gently takes my hand off the doorknob and turns me around to face him. “Come on, baby. We both know what’s happening here.”

I get lost in the ocean that is his eyes and more than anything, I wish I could lean forward just a little bit and press my lips to his. Something still holds me back though.

“I can’t.”

He smiles slightly, raising his hand, and cradles my face. Without a thought, I lean into his touch. “I know you’re not ready yet, but I’ll be right here until the day you are. You’re worth the wait.”

Shaking my head, I say, “I’m really not. I’m ruined.”

He scowls, stroking my cheek with his thumb while he searches my eyes. “You are fierce, funny, sweet, smart, sexy as hell, and so many other things, but you are not ruined.” My breath catches in my throat as I gaze up at him, tears filling my eyes. One spills over and trails down my cheek. He wipes it away and kisses my forehead before pulling back but he’s still too close, his lips hovering over mine. I don’t know what possesses me but I lean up on my toes and press my lips to his. He doesn’t move, allowing me to be completely in control and when I pull away, I gasp and press my fingers to my lips.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper. I have no idea where that came from and the last thing I want to do is lead him on. Nothing has changed and I can’t be with him.

He offers me one of those easy smiles that I love so much. “Let me get dressed and we’ll go, okay?”

All I can do is nod. He smiles again and drops another kiss to my forehead before pulling away, grabbing his bag off the floor, and disappearing into the bathroom. His words bounce around in my head and the way he said them — it makes me feel them. His confidence in me makes me feel strong but a sliver of uncertainty still lingers.

He just stole another piece of my heart with a simple kiss and his easy smile and I don’t know how much longer I can resist him. I know I have feelings for him. It was unavoidable. With our connection and us spending so much time together, it was inevitable. I just can’t take that next step and act on it. Somehow, I know that he would never hurt me like Ryan did, but my fear and pain still hold me hostage. How long will he really wait around for me?

“Ready to go?” Nix asks, coming out of the bathroom in the same jeans and a plain white t-shirt that gives him the effortlessly cool vibe I really love and I nod. He pulls the door open for me and ushers me outside before locking up behind me. As I walk down the step to the first floor, he steps up at my side and slips his hand in mine. I glance down at it, my heart fluttering at the simple gesture as a ghost of a smile pulls at my lips. Nix leads me to his truck, opening the passenger door for me and I hoist myself up into the seat, watching him as he strolls around to the other side.

“So, where are we going?” he asks after climbing in and I smile.

“Christmas shopping.”

His eyes widen and he lets out a surprised laugh. “Uh, baby, you know it’s August, right?”

“Yes,” I reply with a nod. “What’s your point? You’re lucky I’ve restrained myself and not put up the tree yet.”

“All right.” He laughs, holding his hands up in surrender. “Where to, then?”

“The farmers market.” A darkness falls over me and I know it’s going to hurt to go there when I’m no longer able to paint but I miss it and there is a woman there who sells handmade ornaments that I love.

“You okay?” Nix asks, pulling away from the curb and I nod, staring out the window.

“Yeah, I just haven’t been back to the market since I stopped painting.”

He grabs my hand again and I peek over at him. “Why not?”

“Because I used to sell my pieces there on the weekends and it just hurt too much to go after everything.”

“So what made you decide to go now?”

I shrug. “I want Christmas ornaments from a woman who sells them there… and maybe it feels a little easier to go if you’re with me.”

The admission surprises both of us and I wonder what the hell is up with me today. First I kiss him and now I tell him that he makes things easier? I’m officially losing my mind.

“Well, I’m glad that I can be here then.”

I smile, peeking over at him. “Me, too.”