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Chapter Twenty-Six

Now

“Hey, Em! Come out here!” Nix calls from the living room. I finish running the brush through my hair and walk out of the bedroom to join him.

“What’s up, babe?”

He holds up the morning paper and smiles. “It’s in here.”

I’m suddenly nervous. I’ve done a pretty good job of shoving all this to the back of my mind for the last few days but I can’t avoid it anymore. “Have you read it yet?”

“Yeah, babe. It’s good.” He holds the paper out to me and I take a deep breath before opening it to the article.

I quickly read through it. The last few words send a chill running through me, citing that an investigation should be done regarding my attempts to file charges sooner rather than later.

Before it’s too late.

“It’s kind of short.” I look up at Nix, trying to shake off my unease.

“It is.” Nix nods. “But I think it gets the job done.”

I set the paper down. “Yeah, it does.”

He extends his hand to me, and I take it. He pulls me into his embrace. “You okay, baby?”

“Yeah. That last line just got to me.”

He squeezes me tighter, his heartbeat pounding beneath my hand. “I’ll protect you, baby. He’s never going to hurt you again.”

“Nix, you know that isn’t true. You can’t be everywhere. There is a possibility that he’ll get to me.”

He doesn’t say anything, only squeezes me even tighter and I sigh.

“Baby, I love you but if this is too much, you can leave. I’ll understand.”

He tenses and leans back a little. “I’m not leaving, Emma.”

“Nix, it’s okay, I get it. You didn’t sign up for all of this.”

“Stop!” he yells and I flinch. “Stop pushing me away. I’m not going anywhere, ever.”

I can feel myself shutting down. It’s instinct after everything Ryan did to me. “Okay,” I whisper, emotionless.

Nix growls. “Goddamn it!” He slams his fist into the wall and marches out of the room and into the bedroom. I hold my hand over my chest and sink into the dining room chair as tears start running down my face.

This isn’t fair. I know Nix would never hurt me but as soon as he raised his voice, I couldn’t help my reaction. I just don’t know if I can do this to him anymore. He has every right to be frustrated here. It’s me who can’t handle it. He’s been so amazing to me through all this, so understanding. I’m just so messed up and he deserves better. He deserves someone who can give him everything.

“Baby,” Nix whispers from behind me, and then he’s kneeling in front of me. “Emma, I’m so sorry. I handled that all wrong.”

I’m momentarily shocked that he’s not blaming me. But, he’s not Ryan so of course he’s not blaming me. “It’s okay.” I wipe the tears away from my face.

“No, it is absolutely not okay. I let my emotions get the best of me and I made a mistake.”

I smile, clearing away the last of my tears. “Do you know how I know that you’re nothing like Ryan?”

“No.”

“Ryan would have come out here and blamed me. He would have blamed all the stress at his job. He would have said that I just wouldn’t let him love me. And then, he would have said ‘forgive me.’ He never said sorry. Not once. That’s how I know you are nothing like him, and that’s why it is okay. But, Nix, if this is too much for you, if the stress is more than you can handle, I will understand. You don’t have to stick around.”