Page 115

Chapter Twenty-Three

Then

Ryan is already gone for work by the time I wake up the next morning and I breathe a small sigh of relief. I didn’t sleep well last night and the last thing I need to deal with today is more fighting. I throw back the covers and swing my legs over so I’m sitting on the side of the bed. My body is incredibly sore and achy.

Finally working up the energy to get out of bed, I make my way to the bathroom. I flinch when I turn on the light and look in the mirror. Dark purple bruises line my jaw where Ryan grabbed me last night. When I raise my hand to inspect the marks on my face, I see marks on my wrists also. My ribs ache where he punched me and my head is pounding.

Sighing, I leave the bathroom and go back into the bedroom. I know Ryan didn’t mean to hurt me. If I had just listened to him, this wouldn’t have happened. I can be so stubborn sometimes. I know this. I need to do better. It’s not fair to Ryan.

With a renewed resolve to do what it takes to make this relationship work, I jump in the shower and wash away the stress of yesterday. I dress and am brushing my hair when there’s a knock at the door.

I look at myself in the mirror and know that I am not going to answer that door. I’m certain it’s one of my friends and if they see the bruises, they will freak. They’ll jump to conclusions before I can explain that it was an accident.

I’m so lost in thought that I don’t hear the door unlock or Addy and Trey walking into my room.

“I’m going to fuckin’ kill him!” Trey yells, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I turn toward them and blush, embarrassment overwhelming me. Trey looks like he is about to pull his hair out as he paces back and forth and Addy looks at me with tears in her eyes.

“Sweetie,” she says, reaching for my hand. She gasps when she sees the bruises decorating my wrist and Trey is immediately at her side. He makes a pained sound as he delicately runs his fingers over my wrist.

“Guys, it’s okay. It was an accident.”

Trey’s eyes bug out of his head and he resumes his pacing as Addy gives me a look of pity.

“Em, it’s okay. You don’t have to cover for him anymore,” she consoles.

I shake my head. “I’m not covering for him. It was an accident. It was my fault and he didn’t mean to hurt me.”

Trey explodes. “Are you serious right now?” Addy goes over to him and places her hand on his arm. They share a look and Trey nods at her.

“Sweetie, come sit down. I want to show you something,” she says, patting the bed.

Giving in, I walk over and sit down. Trey moves to the other side, sitting so close our legs are touching. He wraps his arm around my shoulders and I shoot him a perplexed look; he just smiles in return.

“Okay, so I found this article and I want you to read it,” Addy says as she digs around in her bag. She pulls out several pieces of paper, folded up, and hands them to me. I unfold them and scan the title: “Am I being emotionally abused?”

I look back up at her.

“Seriously, Addy? This is crazy!”

“Just please read the article, Em.”

Trey gives my shoulders a squeeze. I sigh and pick the paper back up. I begin reading, feeling like this is a joke. But the further I get, the harder it is to breathe. When I finally reach the end, tears are filling my eyes.

“There is a checklist on the next page,” she informs me, and I quickly flip to the next page. When I’m finally done reading, I’m gasping for breath. Trey is rubbing soothing circles on my back and Addy is saying comforting things to me.

I can check off every single box on this list.

A light bulb has been switched on inside me. I feel like a completely different person than I was even ten minutes ago and I know I can never go back. It’s like there is a deep gorge running through me. On one side is the bright, spunky girl I used to be and on this side is this broken, abused woman.

Abused.

I hate the word. I can’t even force myself to say it. Staring longingly at the other side of the gorge, all I want is to go back. How did this happen to me? I should have seen the signs. Why didn’t I realize? How could I let him treat me like this? I’m not stupid. I should have known better. How did he fool me for so long?

“Emma, please talk to me,” Addy whispers and I look up at her through my tears.

“I…I…I don’t know what to say.”