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“And remember to take a breath and just be honest with him. You two love each other and I know you can work this out if you both give it a shot.”
I smile at her and reach across the center console to hug her. “What the hell would I do without you?”
“Oh, believe me, I’ve been asking myself that question for twenty plus years.”
“Love you,” I say as I release her and reach for the door handle, opening it.
“Love you, too.”
Climbing out of the car, I shut the door and wave to her before walking up to the porch and turning to watch as she backs out of the driveway. I’m stalling a little bit but who could blame me? Now that I’m here, seconds away from coming face-to-face with Noah again after yesterday, my heart is thundering in my chest and my stomach is churning. God, what if he and I can’t get through this? Could I really survive losing him again? We were so young when we got together and in the seven years we’ve been apart, we’ve both changed so much that we may be completely incompatible now. Just the thought makes it hard to breathe, though.
Noah has always been my forever.
What would I do if he wasn’t anymore?
Sucking in a breath, I turn and walk into the house as my pulse pounds in my ears. Jack jumps up from his bed and runs across the room to me, wagging his tail so hard I don’t know how he stays upright. I smile as I bend down to pet him.
“Hi, Jackie. Did you miss me?”
“He did,” Noah says and I glance up as he leans against the hall leading into the hallway. “Walked around the house and cried half the night.”
I stand up and cross my arms over my chest. “Hi… we, uh… we should talk.”
“It’ll have to wait. Streak called us into the clubhouse. Seems like he’s found something on Biche.”
“Oh,” I breathe. “Yeah, okay.”
We stare at each other for a second, the awkwardness suffocating before he sighs and closes the distance between us. He pulls me into his arms and his body sags in relief as he presses his lips to my forehead.
“We’ll talk later, baby. I promise.”
I nod, clutching the back of his t-shirt like I can somehow keep him from drifting away. “Okay.”
He releases me and scoops his keys off the desk before ushering me outside to the truck. Just like the night of the party at the clubhouse, we ride in silence on opposite sides of the cab. I fight back tears, wondering what is going to happen when we finally do get a chance to talk, how we’ll make it through this, and what Streak has to tell us. It’s all too much - a shit show of worry and pain just swirling around inside me. It makes me miss when my life was simpler. Yeah, I didn’t have Noah and I was hiding from Oliver, worried that every day would be the day he found me but right now, it feels better than the uncertainty of our relationship. I allowed myself to love him again and I don’t know what I would do if I lost him now.
“You okay?” he asks as we pull into the clubhouse parking lot. “Nervous?”
I nod. “Yeah.”
“It’ll be all right, baby.” He pulls into a parking space and parks the truck before grabbing my hand. “We’ll get through this. Together.”
I meet his gaze and nod, tears burning my eyes. “I love you, Noah.”
He releases a breath and kisses the back of my hand as his brows furrow, his pain mirroring mine but he still doesn’t say the words and it kills me. Is he really so angry that he can’t tell me he loves me? Or does knowing the truth change the way he thinks of me, the way he sees me?
“Let’s get in there,” he whispers as he releases my hand. I bite my lip to hold back the tears as he opens his door and jumps out. When I’m certain that I can hold it together, I get out and meet him at the back of the truck. He slips his arm around my waist and leads me into the clubhouse. Blaze glances up from the bar as we walk in and sets his beer down before coming over to us.
“Streak’s waiting in the war room. Follow me.”
Noah nods and Blaze turns away from us. We follow him back to a long room that I’ve never been in before with a huge conference table in the middle. Streak is sitting on the far side and he nods at us when we walk in.
“What the fuck is going on?” Noah asks, his gaze bouncing between Streak and Blaze, who sighs and motions to two chairs across from Streak.
“Have a seat, guys.”
I peek up at Noah and he shakes his head as he pulls a chair out for me. As soon as we’re seated, Streak clears his throat.
“As you know, I’ve been digging into Biche’s life…”