Page 38
He nods thoughtfully, studying me. “And if I wasn’t talking about you?”
“The chicken is good here,” I answer, glancing down at the menu like I didn’t just ignore his question. The truth is, I don’t want him talking about another girl like that but it doesn’t make me sleeping with him any less of a bad idea. “I feel like I need to get something out of the way.”
He looks up. “What?”
“I’m not going to sleep with you. Ever. It’s not going to happen.”
Whiskey colored eyes narrow and he bites down on his full lip. “I don’t know, Sugar. Forever is a long time.”
“Okay,” I choke out, holding my hands up. “First of all, don’t ever call me Sugar again. I’m not your sugar and even if we were sleeping together, I wouldn’t let you call me that and secondly, I can’t be doing this with you. It doesn’t matter that I’m attracted to you or that you’re attracted to me because my mom just died and I’m trying to figure out where to go from here. You understand everything I’m dealing with in a way that none of my other friends do so I need you right now and this can’t get screwed up by us falling into bed together.”
“Look, Tate,” he sighs, running a hand through his dark hair. “I’m serious about wanting to be your friend and yeah, there is obviously more between us but it’s not my focus right now. Maybe someday, you and I can explore that but not right now and I get that.”
He reaches across the table and grabs my hand as I gasp softly at the butterflies flapping around in my belly.
“Okay, then.”
Mia steps out from behind the counter, her eyes on us, and I rip my hand away as she approaches.
“Y’all know what you want to eat?” she asks, eying me with a mischievous grin on her face and I shake my head as Lincoln orders a sweet tea and a sandwich.
“My usual, Mia,” I tell her and she nods, winking at me before turning and walking away from our table.
“So, in all seriousness, how are you doing with everything?” Lincoln asks and I shrug.
“I don’t know how to answer that. One minute I’m fine, the next I’m crying, and then a few seconds later I’m mad.”
He nods. “Yeah, that sounds about right.”
“God, I have so many questions, too,” I sigh. “It’s starting to feel like I didn’t even know my mother.”
“Like what?”
“Everything,” I answer and his brows shoot up. “I know that sounds dramatic but I literally don’t know anything about her anymore.”
“Well, tell me about it. That’s why I’m here.”
I stare at him for a moment, debating how much is safe to tell him before sighing. “My mom left my brother and me a lot of money… like, a lot, but the thing is, when we were growing up, it always seemed like we were just scraping by.”
“Did she have life insurance?” he asks and I shake my head.
“No, it wasn’t life insurance. A lawyer came over to the house and presented us with checks as part of her estate. And then there were all these love letters tucked away in a box and a photo of a little boy.”
His brow furrows and a feeling of contentment washes over me, knowing that he’s really invested in this conversation and helping me figure this all out as a friend. I halfway expected this whole “friend” thing to be a way to get into my pants but when I speak, it feels like he’s really listening and he really cares.
“Could they be from your dad?”
“I don’t even know who my dad is so it’s possible.”
He scowls. “What do you mean you don’t know who your dad is?”
“She wouldn’t ever tell us.”
“Are you sure she even knew?”
I don’t like to think that my mother was a bit of a slut but at this point, I can’t dismiss anything.
“I’ll add that one to the bottom of the list. God! It’s driving me crazy. We never had a normal childhood but everything that’s come up since she died is just on another level.”
