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The Mitchels came from old money and their name held a certain level of prestige in this town so she made it her business to make sure he and I really hit it off. For our first date, he took me to dinner and a movie. He was sweet and funny without being too over the top and it was easy to be with him. By the time he walked me to my door, I was head over heels in the way only a teenager can be. He kissed me goodnight and the next day at school, he asked me to be his girlfriend. At sixteen years old, I thought he was perfect. He treated me like a princess, made me laugh and with him by my side, my new life didn’t feel so daunting. I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world.

Things were hot and heavy for us, but Austin was so patient – he never pushed me for sex and always told me he was happy to wait until I was ready. It was a relief after some of the horror stories I’d heard about other guys at our school and after seven months of dating, I gave him my virginity. On the night we first had sex, my mom and Harrison were out at some function and Ivy was at a friend’s house so I invited him over and we went up to my room. He was just as sweet and attentive as he’d always been and it was the most magical night of my life. I decided that this was the man for me, my one true love but everything after that night went downhill.

Austin pulled away from me. It wasn’t instant or obvious but little by little, I was seeing less of him and our interactions were a little more strained. I was terrified I would lose him and I was ready to do whatever it took to keep him. One day after school, I cornered him and forced him to talk to me. He admitted he’d been so stressed with school and stuff going on at home that he’d been shutting everyone out. I’ll never forget the relief that washed through me when he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me into his body, planting his lips on my forehead. He told me he was sorry and invited me to a party at one of his friend’s houses that weekend.

The night of the party, I showed up in the sexiest dress I owned, which admittedly wasn’t all that sexy but I felt beautiful in it and Austin’s face lit up when he saw me so I was on top of the world, ready to dance and have fun with my boyfriend. The last thing I can remember is sipping on my drink while Austin and I danced to Candy Shop by 50 Cent. From there, things get fuzzy and I only have little snippets of memories that don’t really make a whole lot of sense. It’s still, to this day, confusing and impossible to piece together.

When I woke up the next morning, I was back in my bed and my body hurt, everywhere. It was a pain unlike anything I’d ever felt, before or since, and I knew something was wrong, but I had no idea how much my life would change. I hobbled into the bathroom and positioned myself in front of the mirror, not at all prepared for the sight that met me. Dark circular bruises covered my arms and thighs and my chest and neck were covered in hickeys. There was dried blood on the inside of my legs and a dark ring around my neck like someone had strangled me. Gasping, I fell to the tile floor and sobbed, my mind going crazy as I tried to piece together the night before but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t remember what happened.

Ivy found me twenty minutes later, still curled up on the bathroom floor, crying my eyes out. She screamed for our mother and sat down beside me with tears freely flowing down her cheeks as she tried desperately to comfort me. It was also the only time I ever saw tears in my mother’s eyes. They didn’t spill down her cheeks, but they were there for a moment before she gathered me up and rushed me to the emergency room. We sat there for hours in a little room, hidden behind drapes, as they ran test after test on me and asked me questions I had no answers for. And then they walked into the room. If I close my eyes, I can still see their faces just as clearly as I did that day, so somber as they told me what I already knew.

I had been raped.

With tears streaming down my face, I pull into my parking spot and turn off the car, trying desperately not to think of that time in my life but it’s no use. The floodgate has been opened and I’m drowning in horrors I would do anything to forget. My phone buzzes from the cup holder and I glance over at it, sighing when I see it’s a text from Chance instead of Aunt Dottie. I know she didn’t mean to upset me, but I can’t talk to her right now.

Chance:

Something came up.

I’ll see you tomorrow.

Sobbing harder, I toss the phone aside and rest my forehead on the wheel, trying to ignore how upset I am by the fact that he’s not here to wrap his arms around me and tell me it’s all going to be okay.