Page 144

On the other side of the bed, Dottie sniffles and meets my eyes. “It’s time, Honey. She wouldn’t want us to keep her like this.”

“There’s supposed to be so much more. She’s supposed to fall in love, get married, and have babies. We’re supposed to spend Christmases and birthdays together. She’s supposed to be here with me for so much longer. How am I supposed to do this?” I cry. Chance kneels in front of me and meets my gaze, moisture pooling in his eyes.

“I know, baby,” he whispers, cupping my cheek. “But you know Ivy better than anyone else in this world. What would she want?”

A sob rips out of my throat and I look over his head to my baby sister, lying in the bed. I know he’s right, but can I force the words out of my mouth? How can I give the instructions that will kill Vi?

Blaze steps forward from the back of the room and stands behind my chair, putting his hand on my shoulder. “We’re all here for you, Carly.”

One by one, the guys follow him – Smith, Kodiak, Fuzz, Moose, Streak and Storm. Ali and Izzy come over and kneel by my feet, placing their hands on my knee and I look up, meeting Dottie’s gaze. She nods as a steady stream of tears trail down her cheeks.

“Set her free, Honey.”

I look up at Dr. Price. “Will it be quick?”

He shakes his head. “It just depends on the patient. Most go fairly quickly, though.”

“Will she be in any pain?” I whisper, focusing on her face as my breathing stutters.

“No, ma’am. She won’t feel a thing.”

Dottie nods and a few of the guys gently touch my back or arms, offering me the support I need to choke the words out. After a moment, I nod at Dr. Price and he turns, pressing a few buttons on one of the machines at the head of her bed. A nurse comes up and together they pull the breathing tube out of her throat before stepping back.

“Her respirations will begin slowing down and once they stop altogether, her heart will stop beating.”

Panic slams into me like a freight train, my mind screaming to rewind time and I tense up on my chair, my heart pounding.

No, we’ve made a mistake.

We can’t do this.

I can’t lose her.

“Stop. No, we can’t do this,” I gasp, reaching out to grab her hand again.

Chance wraps his arm around my waist and presses his forehead against my hair. “I’ve got you, baby.”

A sob echoes through the room and my heart hammers away in my chest as I watch the monitor, waiting and dreading the moment the numbers start going down.

“We love you, Sweetie,” Dottie whispers, reaching up to stroke her face. “It’s okay to go.”

Ali and Izzy stand and move to the end of the bed, placing their hands on her feet as tears pour down their faces. My body feels numb as I glance up at the monitor, noticing her respirations are slower than a moment before and my own heart feels sluggish like I’m dying right alongside her. Tears pour down Dottie’s face as she reaches up and strokes Ivy’s hair out of her face before grabbing her hand and bringing it to her lips.

Don’t leave me, Vi.

Closing my eyes, I think back to the last time I saw her conscious – down in that basement as Julian hit her again and again and I sob louder. That can’t be my last memory of my baby sister. I have years and years of good memories with her, memories that will warm my heart every time I think of her but the last moment where she was truly Ivy, will haunt me forever. Why did she have to come back?

“Why did you do it?” I whisper, glancing up at her. “I was ready to die to save you; why did you have to come back?”

“Princess,” Chance whispers, his voice pained as he closes his eyes.

“I love you, Vi,” I whisper and Chance kisses my head, his constant touch somehow holding me together. Ali and Izzy kneel next to my chair again and place their hands on my knee, tears falling from both of their eyes. My throat feels tight as pain crashes over me.

Something flashes on the monitor and I squint up at the screen, my heart seizing when the numbers drop again. I’m as close to the bed as my chair will allow but it’s not close enough and I turn to Chance.

“Help me up?”

He nods and I stand before grabbing his hand and climbing onto the bed with her. Grabbing her hand, I lie down next to her and close my eyes.

“It’s okay. You can let go,” I whisper in her ear, hoping wherever she is she can hear me. “I don’t want to let you go but I know this is what you’d want. I always knew I was lucky to have you as a sister and I’ll carry you with me always.”

“Her heartbeat is slowing,” Dr. Price says and a sob bubbles out of me as I squeeze her hand and press a kiss to her cheek.

“Say hi to Daddy for me, okay?” I whisper, tears soaking the pillow underneath me as I feel a gentle touch on my head. Rolling over, I meet Chance’s eyes. He nods and I turn back to Ivy, holding her hand as she drifts away.