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Chapter Two

Addilyn

Pulling the worn box down from the top shelf of my closet, I rub my hand across the lid, almost as if I can soak up the love hidden away inside and, just for a moment, go back in time to when I was a little girl and everything was right in my world. But all I have left of that time are these letters. Letters that my dad wrote to my mom for every little reason and no reason at all other than to tell her how much she meant to him. He poured his love and devotion for her out onto these pages, telling her of his dreams and cataloging their struggles to show her that they could make it through anything.

Except death.

No letter could have prepared any of us for the loss of my dad.

If I close my eyes, I can still see that night so vividly, like it was being projected onto the backs of my eyelids. It was a hot summer night, and it had been raining most of the day. The air was muggy and frogs croaked through the open windows of our house as we sat around the table playing Monopoly. Mama said that milkshakes sounded really good, and Daddy jumped up to go get them, a wide smile on his face. That’s the way I always remember him, looking down at his two girls with a big grin on his face and more love in his eyes than I’ve seen since.

The next thing we knew, two policemen were knocking on our door. From there, things got a little fuzzy, and all I knew was that I was never going to see my Daddy again. The only thing that I could think about was all the things he was going to miss; all the things that I would have to experience without the first great love of my life. In the years following, I imagined a wedding of my own more times than I can count and each time, my Daddy was missing as I faced my new reality.

Mama took it the hardest, though. My parents had an epic love story – the kind that little girls dream of and people write stories about – and I don’t think she knew how to go on without him. She was just completely broken. That’s where the Harringtons stepped in, letting me stay over there whenever I needed to, and they took care of Mama when waking up in a world without Daddy was just too much for her – when his absence was a gaping hole in her heart, sucking the life out of everything else.

Taking my treasured box of letters, I sit down on the couch and pull the lid off, grabbing the letter on top. The paper is brittle after years of it being folded and unfolded as my mother read these before passing them onto me but it brings me comfort. Almost as if I can go back to the time when I was a little girl and both my parents were here, happy, and so in love that you could hardly stand to look at them. Gently unfolding it one more time, I smile at the sight of my dad’s handwriting, my chest aching just a little.

Lizzy,

In a few short hours, you’ll put on a gorgeous white dress and walk down the aisle to become my bride. I, for one, can’t wait. In some ways, it feels like I’ve been waiting for you my entire life. Like we were separated and the nerve endings were raw, allowing me to feel your absence. The moment I tripped over your feet and fell into your lap, the pain faded, and I felt whole again. When I looked up into your enchanting eyes, I knew. It doesn’t matter that we’ve only known each other for two weeks because after one second with you, I knew.

I don’t think I ever told you this but I was so angry with my friends for forcing me to go outside and play football with them that day. I had a huge test the next day and I needed to study, but they convinced me to take a break, and I can honestly say that it’s the greatest thing that anyone’s ever done for me. I know that your parents are against this. I know they think that we’re too young or that we don’t know what we’re getting ourselves into, and maybe that’s true but I know that as long as I have you by my side, everything will be okay. That’s the most important thing, my love. There will undoubtedly be challenges in our lives but as long as we face them together, as a team, our love will survive.

I know that in fifty years, we will be sitting on a front porch somewhere, reading this letter because there isn’t another woman in this world that could do the things you do to me with just a look. You mesmerize me, and I never want to snap out of it. You’ve become my best friend, and I know that my life would be so achingly empty without you in it.

I’ll see you in a few hours when you walk down that aisle to become Mrs. Jonathan Burke. I love you today, tomorrow, and forever.

XOXO

With tears streaming down my face, I run my hands across the words, like maybe it will give me just another second with my dad, before reading it again. When I finish, I tuck it back into the box, careful not to damage it in any way and start to think about the story of how my parents met. They loved to tell it, and I’ve heard it more times than I can count. At this point, I’m sure that I could recite it in my sleep.

They were in college and my mom was sitting under this tree in the quad while she studied for some big test that she had to ace, and my dad was dragged out by his friends to play a little football. One of his friends threw it long and Dad went running for it, not paying any attention to where he was going. He tripped over Mom’s feet and fell right into her lap.

At this point in the story, he would shoot a smile in my mom’s direction and say that as soon as he looked up into her hazel eyes, he was a goner. They fell hard and fast, marrying a short two weeks later, and while I’m sure some people thought they were insane, they were perfect for each other. All you had to do was spend five minutes in a room with them and you knew that they were the real deal.

Falling in love is not some slow stroll down a hill. You trip into it, and it happens so fast that you don’t even realize what’s going on until you’re sitting on your ass at the bottom of that steep cliff, hopelessly in love. And who’s to say how long the process should take? For some people, it happens with someone they’ve known for years. One day they look up and everything is different but for others, like my parents, they meet someone new, and they are irrevocably changed because they found the part of them that they never even realized was missing.

I wipe away my tears and replace the lid before taking them back to my closet and tucking them safely on the top shelf as I try to shove all the crap that I don’t want to think about into the back corner of my mind where it’s safe and out of sight.

* * * *

I need to get out of this freaking house.

I’ve been holed up for three whole days, and at this point, I’m disgusted with myself. More than anything, I just need to get back to some kind of daily routine so I can bury all these emotions that Emma’s wedding brought up. This mopey, whiney girl isn’t me. Life threw me a curveball. So what? This is my new reality, and I need to learn to deal with it. Sighing, I stare at the screen in front of me, knowing that I really should try to work even if it’s pointless. I feel completely uninspired. Normally, all it takes to get the creative juices flowing is a good cup of coffee and my music blasting but I know that even that won’t help right now. Maybe if I get out of this house and have a little fun, I might actually meet this deadline.

When I was first starting college to become a graphic designer, I dreamed of being where I am now. I spent a couple of years really working my ass off and a little over two years ago, I got noticed by some big names in the industry. Now, I’ve got requests for work from businesses all over the country. More than I can feasibly handle, actually. It just sucks that something so small can completely drain my creativity. Sometimes, I wish I could do something else. A job where all I had to worry about were the numbers and my emotional state didn’t matter one bit but I also know that I would be miserable.

That’s it.

I’m getting out of here. What I need more than anything is a little bit of fresh air to clear my head and get me focused again. Grabbing my phone off the desk, I dial Daisy’s number as I try to think of something fun we can go do. She was just telling me the other day about some date Tucker took her on at the arcade. I remember that the arcade has laser tag and I smile, thinking of when we all used to go as teenagers and play. That sounds like just what I need.

Her voicemail picks up, and I sigh again, tossing the phone down as my eyes roam my apartment, trying to think of something else I could do. Emma is off on her honeymoon so I can’t call her but I bet Trey’s free. With a smile on my face, I grab my phone and keys before skipping out of my apartment and locking the door before bounding down the stairs out into the bright sunlight. When I slide behind the wheel of my Infiniti G37 Coupe, my smile grows.

The engine rumbles to life, and I feel my spirits perk up almost instantly. This car was one of the few things I splurged on when my business took off, and I love it like it’s my baby. Pressing down on the gas pedal, the car shoots forward, the wind whipping through my hair, and I laugh before slowing down so I don’t get pulled over. Just like I predicted, the fresh air clears my mind as I make the short drive to the bar, and by the time I pull into the gravel lot, I’m practically bouncing out of my car. I walk up to the door, pulling the aviators away from my eyes as I step inside.

“Addy Jay, what the heck are you doing here?” Moe calls from behind the bar, and I smile as a couple of patrons turn to look at me. I don’t know what it is about this place but a sense of peace settles over me as soon as I walk in, and I’m glad that I decided to come here.

“Hey, Moe, Trey around?” I ask, sidling up to a bar stool. He nods, looking down at the glass in his hand as he dries it with a towel.