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“I like it.”
“You like what?” I ask.
“You and Trey. You two fit together very well, and that Trey is a good boy. Nothing like his junkie mama or alcoholic daddy.”
I nod. “Yeah, Mama. He is a good man but it’s more complicated than that.”
“Why?” she asks, back into interrogation mode. “Because you’re scared for some reason? Baby, everyone is scared. Do you think I wasn’t terrified when I married your daddy? Of course I was but I took a leap of faith because I believed that he was worth it and look at us now. I mean, we got married after only knowing each other for two weeks, for Christ’s sake. It was insane but I just knew and your daddy has loved me and treated me like the most precious thing in the world since the day we met.”
The tears are falling unchecked now, both for her words of wisdom and the memories that talking about my dad bring up. She reaches out and wipes my cheek clean before pressing her hand against my chest, right over my heart.
“Trust your heart, baby. It’ll never guide you in the wrong direction.”
“I love you so much, Mama,” I sob, and tears gather in her eyes as she pulls me into a hug.
“Oh my sweet baby girl, I love you, too.”
* * * *
I toss my phone down on the couch next to me after sending a text to my date for the night, canceling. I wish that I felt bad but I’m just too drained after visiting my mom to put on a show. The dates have become more like chores now, and I don’t know why I’m even doing them anymore. I dread them and would much rather cuddle up on the couch with Trey and watch TV. Although, I guess that’s why I do it right there. It would be so easy to fall in love with Trey, almost like breathing. All I would have to do is allow myself, which I won’t.
My thoughts drift to my mom’s advice today, and I start crying, wishing that I could do what she suggested and follow my heart. God, I can’t even remember the last time I let my heart make any of the decisions. Maybe before she got sick. I long for those days again for more than one reason. My mama had many more years ahead of her, and I dated a man because I thought he really could be my forever. Now, I just look for someone that could distract me from the fact that I may have found everything I’ve been looking for. Shaking my head, I rub my hands down my face and sigh. No, that’s crazy. I can’t love Trey.
Someone knocks on the door, and I peek over my shoulder to look at it, debating if I should answer or not. I’m sure that my eyes are red and puffy. My make-up is probably running down my cheeks, and I can’t even find the energy to stand. Making up my mind, I face forward again and lean my head back on the couch, closing my eyes. A shower and my bed sound like a fantastic idea right now.
“Come on, Ad. I saw your car outside,” Trey says, knocking again, and I sigh as I haul my aching body off the couch. Who knew bawling in your car for an hour would hurt so damn much? I shuffle to the door and throw it open. Trey’s smile falls away almost instantly, replaced by a look of deep concern as he rushes forward and takes me into his arms.
“Jesus, Addy. Are you okay?”
All I can do is nod dumbly, the tears still falling steadily from my eyes. He tucks me into his side and shuts the door behind him before he starts walking with me toward my bedroom. I must not be moving fast enough because he scoops me up, marching with determination to the bed. I tense up for a moment before realizing that I really don’t even care anymore. I’m tired – tired of holding this secret inside me and tired of resisting him when he’s the only one who makes me feel even a fraction better. I bury my face in his neck, the smell of his cologne taking over my senses, and a feeling of peace washes over me.
When we get to my bed, he starts to set me down but I cling to him, not wanting to lose the calm that I found in his embrace. He wastes no time holding me tighter and sitting down with me in his lap. Shivers race through me as he drags his hand across my back, and for the first time since I left the nursing home, I feel like I can breathe. Like I was treading water, the undertow pulling me under as I fought to remain on the surface, and he threw me a life preserver.
“What’s going on with you lately, baby?” he whispers, and I know that it should bother me when he calls me that but it doesn’t. I shouldn’t love it but I do – so much. And I don’t know how to answer him, my loyalty to my mom remaining even though she’ll probably never know that I told anyone.
Lifting my head up, I look into his warm, honey eyes and shake my head. “I can’t,” I croak out. The way he’s looking at me right now, I know he can see everything. All my walls are down, and the pain is just pouring out of me.
“Okay,” he says with a nod, “but I’m here, Ad. I’m always here for you. There’s nothing you can’t tell me, and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. Understand?”
I nod, my gaze zeroing in on his lips before flicking back up to his eyes, the heat dancing there wiping any other thought from my brain. Holy hell, Trey is so… fucking… hot. I’ve gone out with my fair share of guys and even had a few hot one-night stands, but no one has ever looked at me the way Trey is right now. The desperate hunger in his eyes has me trembling in his lap and my core drenched. Before my brain can stop me, I lean in, pressing my hand to the side of his face, and kiss him.
He groans, wrapping one arm securely around my waist while the other slides into my hair, and he takes control of the kiss. His lips are hard and demanding as he takes what he wants and coincidently, gives me exactly what I need. I need to forget, and the moment his mouth moves down to the sensitive skin of my neck, leaving a trail of hot kisses back up to my jaw, I can’t think anymore. Only feel.
Claiming my lips again, he repositions me on his lap so I’m straddling him, my core hovering right over the growing bulge in his jeans. He grips my hip in one hand and shoves me down so I’m grinding on his lap, and I moan, unable to stop myself. His tongue slips past my lips, and he teases and strokes my mouth as he continues rocking my hips back and forth over his hard cock.
“Trey,” I gasp quietly, unable to do anything else. My chest heaves as my body is assaulted from every angle – his lips on my neck, his cock rubbing against my pussy, his hand gripping my hip as he traces little circles over my skin.
“Jesus Christ, you feel amazing, baby. Are you sure about this? You gotta stop me if this isn’t what you want,” he groans against my skin, and I shake my head, shoving him back to the bed.
“Don’t stop.” I start licking and kissing up his neck, and he groans, both hands gripping my hips now as he continues to move me over him. With another sexy groan, he rolls us, propping himself on one hand as he looks down at me.
“You’re sure?” he asks again.
“Trey,” I complain, arching my body up into him, and he grins before leaning down and claiming my lips again. He slips a hand up my shirt, and my body jerks as goose bumps race across my skin. It’s insane just how good it feels when he touches me – like a bolt of electricity that goes straight between my thighs. I reach down and grip his shirt before yanking it over his head, revealing every delicious inch of his toned stomach. When he fuses our lips together again, I drag my fingertips down the front of his body – over every single bump until I reach the waistband of his jeans. I unbutton them and slowly drag the zipper down, making sure to brush up against his length as I do.
He pulls away from my lips, groaning, and drops his head into my neck. I shove his jeans and boxer briefs off enough to let his cock spring free between us. Reaching down, I take it in my hand and stroke softly back and forth while kissing his neck.
“You’re perfect,” he moans into my neck as I nip at his ear and release him. A low growl rumbles out of him, and I don’t even have time to react before he’s pulling my shirt off and throwing it to the floor. My breasts bounce in my pretty red lace bra as I struggle to breathe under his intense gaze, his eyes darkened with need. He reaches a hand out to me and I take it, his fingers curling round mine as he pulls me up off the bed long enough to unhook my bra and rip it off my body. He tosses it to the floor before focusing back on me.
