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“Did you get my note?”
“I did.”
There’s a long silence. In the background is a faint rushing. I wonder if she’s in the car. It’s about the time she comes home from work.
“I’m with Jamie,” I say.
“I know, honey,” she replies casually. “You know, at some point, you might want to stop living in denial about this whole thing. It’s okay to be into him.”
My chest hurts.
“There’s a lot of moving parts,” I say finally. “It’s more complicated than that, but I don’t know…if I want to get too deep into other stuff.”
“I won’t pressure you. Where are you two now?”
Looking around, I move across the room to glance through the window in the front door. The drive is empty. Across the road, a field of dried corn ripples in the breeze.
“He has a cabin in Kentucky. We went out for a few days to talk.”
“I’m sure you’ll do plenty of talking. Make sure to use protection.”
“Mom!”
She laughs, and a car door slams. There’s a rustling, then her keys jingle. I smile at the faint clinking of Derry’s nails in the hallway.
“Have you told Sabrina and Coen about any of this?” she asks.
“Yes, but please don’t mention it,” I rush. “I really want time to figure it out on my own.”
“I know, honey, but you don’t have to.”
I smile again, thinking about when Jamie said the same thing to me in the airport. I’m used to having people around me, deciding almost everything for me. It was never any other way. Dad made the rules, but Sabrina ran the show. I was the follower, my opinion rarely asked. I found my ways of rebelling, but in retrospect, I was pretty good at just going with the flow when it mattered.
This is something that matters. Jamie, the music. I want to make my own choice.
“I know, but I want to,” I say firmly.
“I get it,” she says. “How’s the cabin?”
Doing another loop of the living room, I shrug. “It’s really nice. Jamie has a lot of different places around the country. He has an apartment in New York, apparently.”
“Is that where you were last night?”
“No…we were at a hotel. He leases his properties out to his clients to help them get on their feet.”
“That’s dedication to his job.”
“Yeah,” I say softly. “He’s really…an all-in kind of guy.”
A pause.
“Is he all in when it comes to my daughter?”
“Mom, we’re not there yet,” I sigh. “But he treats me good, and he won’t let anything happen to me. I haven’t opened a door or carried my bag since we met up.”
“That’s what I like to hear,” she says.
“Alright, I’m gonna go make a cup of coffee or something.”