Page 107

I’m a little less lonely after that realization. I’ve felt adrift for a while, always the supportive person, the shoulder to cry on. But Marion was that for me. Every new experience, new deal, she was there.

I wonder if she feels about me the way I feel about Coen—proud of everything we accomplished and guilty over everything we lost.

I hope not. She gave me all the good parts, too. I wonder if that’s how Coen looks at it. Maybe I should stop balling up my feelings and just ask him sometime.

“Serena’s still at the studio,” she says finally. “You should go get your girl.”

CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

SERENA

After I finish reading through the contract, I turn off my phone and leave it by the bed. I’m exhausted to my core. This week, I’ve met more people than I can properly remember the names of. Lingo I’m not familiar with rings in my ears when I’m finally alone. People keep talking to me about timelines, EPs, and a million other things I don’t feel ready to even be considering.

I’m in shock.

It used to be that these things took time. And it did, but it also happened like the roll of the dice.

Now, I’m reeling. And all I want is the hard warmth of his chest. Sleeping in his arms was so safe. I lie on my side in the empty farmhouse and think about him for hours before I finally succumb to exhaustion. It’s hard being the only one staying here right now. There’s nobody and nothing around to distract me. The farmhouse is one of the coziest, most peaceful places I’ve ever stayed. But it’s set up for zero distractions.

I’d like to write music here.

Going through angst and heartache are less desirable.

The next morning, I get up and pull on leggings and a heavy wool sweater. In the kitchen, I use the ridiculously nice espresso machine to make myself a hot latte. Then, I grab my shoes and head out into the dewy grass. It’s so clean, so placid. My mind starts turning the way it always does when a new idea is about to come.

The walk to the lake is an old wagon trail from when this was a working farm. I follow the worn earthen path, woods on one side, and hills on the other. The fenceline is beautiful in the silvery mist. Everything is so quiet, so still. In that quiet, I can feel the empty spot in my chest like a physical ache.

When did I fall for him?

Was it early on, in Maine? No, because I left. Honestly, I think it was when he said one more time and flew to me in New York. It was when he told me to stop snarking at him and his energy became gentle. Was that when he felt something for me? Because everything seemed different that night. It was different in Kentucky, alone, with the world so far away.

I want to run to him. To board a plane, tell Jenna I’ll be right back, and go to wherever he is.

I can’t because he hasn’t texted me. He hasn’t called.

Is this how it’s always going to be?

My head goes silent. My feet keep moving through dry leaves. I’m about a quarter mile in when something moves up ahead. I freeze, waiting. I don’t think anyone else is staying at the studio or the farmhouse, but maybe they came in last night.

The mist is too thick. I squint, heart pounding.

A dark shape appears, getting closer. Tall, broad, walking with his head up.

My body tingles. My heart speeds up so fast I can barely breathe. Jamie appears, materializing from the mist like some kind of cowboy Mr. Darcy in a white T-shirt and worn pants, creased like he was traveling. His hair is messy, eyes tired, but he’s never looked better.

Crack—the mug falls from my hand, breaking in two.

I don’t care. I’ll pay Jenna back.

My legs go from shaking to running, as fast as I can, through the slippery grass. He stops and right then, I see it all over his face. The hesitancy, as if he thought I would be angry and ask why he was here, disappears. His iron walls crumble. He lifts his arms, and I hit the broad, warm expanse of his chest hard enough that he stumbles back a step.

I’m going to cry. I’m going to explode. I’m going to grab his hand and beg him to marry me right now.

Well, that might be premature, but…I wouldn’t say no.

He pulls back enough to kiss me, mouth warm against mine.

God, I love him.