Page 90
Alaric.
The portal to the Isle was right there. I could get to it in less than an hour.
But I’m supposed to be going to Tollino, I thought, irritated with myself.
Why? asked another voice.
I stilled. Ordinarily, it was Elvira’s voice I envisioned in my head. But this time, it was different. This time, it sounded like a more obstinate version of myself.
Why do you need to go to Tollino? the voice asked, more insistent.
Because I don’t want to starve, I thought sarcastically.
There is food on the Isle of Kenibore, said the voice.
I snorted. This was true. But I couldn’t get through the portal without a Wolven Mage.
Have you tried? asked the voice.
I huffed a dry laugh, knowing I was going insane. I was sitting in a tree, mentally arguing with myself.
Why should I? I asked. I don’t belong there. Just because I have feelings for Alaric doesn’t mean I will miraculously be accepted by his people.
But do you want to be with him?
My pulse quickened. That doesn’t matter.
Yes, it does, insisted the voice. What do you want, Cece?
I shuddered at the nickname, inexplicably thinking of Elvira again. She had been the only one to call me that.
What do you want, Cerise?
I… I want…
I hesitated. Storms, what did I want?
I wanted to belong somewhere.
I wanted to be loved. Truly loved.
I wanted to right Elvira’s wrongs. To undo the hurt she had caused. To heal what she had broken.
The only other person in the entire realm who could understand that was Alaric. He had sympathized with me, even knowing how awful my grandmother had been. He had comforted me. Understood me.
And he, too, had wanted to make things right. Even after learning everything Geraldine had done, he hadn’t wanted to kill her but arrest her to see her face justice.
I want Alaric, I thought firmly, my eyes stinging and my heart twisting painfully. I want him. I want him. I want him.
Then go to him, said the voice, who now sounded strangely smug.
My stomach fluttered, but I couldn’t suppress a smile as I eased myself down the tree one branch at a time. My descent was slow, and my blood pounded with urgency, with need. I wanted to go faster, but I had to take care not to fall.
It would be just like me to be clumsy enough to break my leg.
When I finally reached the bottom, I shouldered my bag and raced toward the lake. Just knowing it was so close bolstered my spirits, hardening my resolve. I wasn’t even bothered by my glowing hands anymore.
All I could think of was Alaric.