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It was too much for me. I couldn’t handle it. Couldn’t process it.

I had no room in my heart for this—whatever this was. I was broken beyond repair, thanks to years of Elvira’s manipulation and lies. Her love had been the only love I’d ever known. And now I was wondering if I even knew what love was.

Had she been running tests on me, too? Was that why she’d been giving me the tonic? It didn’t escape my notice that Geraldine conveniently managed to produce the right ingredients here in this bunker. If they had been easily accessible here, then…

Agony rose up inside me, making it harder to breathe.

I didn’t want to think about this anymore.

“Please,” I whispered. I needed him to leave before I shattered completely. “Please go, Alaric. I can’t—I can’t do this anymore. I know you think I’m strong, but right now, I’m n-not.”

His brows pulled together, and his lips pressed in a thin line. “Is that what you want—for me to leave?”

Hearing those words felt like driving a knife between my ribs and twisting. “It’s… what I need.”

A muscle feathered in his jaw as he turned to glare at the wall. “Where will you go?” His voice was low and uneven.

“Back to the village of Tollino. The people there aren’t exactly friendly toward witches. But they know me well enough. I’ll stay at an inn until I can find suitable work.”

“That witch clan might still be looking for you.”

“I know. I’ll be careful. You remember how effective my wards are.”

Half his mouth quirked upward, but the amusement didn’t reach his eyes. “Yes, I remember.” He drew closer to me, and I held my breath, momentarily caught off guard by his close proximity. His earthy scent filled my nose, and the way his heated gaze burned into mine seemed to set my blood on fire. Gods, the way I reacted to his nearness… I wanted nothing more than for our bodies to collide in every way imaginable.

“Cerise.” My name was a whispered vow on his lips, a promise that seared straight through my chest. He lifted his hand, dragging the pad of his thumb along my lower lip. I let him pry my mouth open, hot energy flooding my veins. His eyes turned molten, his hand skimming down my chin until he caught it between his thumb and forefinger.

I wanted to pull away, knowing it would be so much more difficult if I didn’t. But my body was incapable of movement. I could only gaze at him, unable to form thoughts, unable to even breathe.

He leaned in, angling his face toward mine, and my breath seized inside my chest. His warm breath tickled my skin. His nose brushed mine. Heat coiled low in my belly, and my skin was on fire.

The moment before our lips met, my rational thoughts returned.

This is too painful.

I sucked in a breath and withdrew a fraction, my heart careening violently in my chest. As much as I wanted him—to touch him, kiss him, fully taste him—I knew if I crossed this line, it would be impossible to part from him.

I wasn’t strong enough.

But more than that, I wasn’t strong enough to be with him. To be what he needed. What he deserved. I needed to gather the broken pieces of my heart and soul before I could offer them to someone else.

Alaric’s breath hitched, and he exhaled shakily. He planted a delicate kiss on my forehead, as if that had been his intention all along, and then pulled away from me.

“Be safe,” he murmured before he stood and climbed through the tunnel.

I remained there on the floor, gasping for breath, my body on fire. I could still feel where his lips had brushed mine when the hatch door slammed shut.

It took me ages to muster the courage to look around the bunker. Geraldine had left the panel open in the white room. A quick glance at the glass wall with the bloody chains on the other side had bile rising within me. I hastily averted my gaze and scooped up the remaining glass vials before hurrying out of the room.

I did not want to linger here any longer than was necessary.

Alaric’s words and the memory of his hand on my mouth echoed through me, making my bones vibrate. My chest ached as I realized he could have already found Geraldine and passed through the portal by now.

And I would likely never see him again.

A bone-chilling cry of despair rose up inside me, threatening to tear my chest in two. For one haunting moment, my soul seemed to shudder, as the realization that Alaric was gone settled within me.

Then, the moment passed, and I took a trembling breath.