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“Does it matter?” My thoughts were getting more frantic. “I will question this my entire life—whether I love him because it’s my choice, or because some invisible force told me to.”

“Respectfully, Cerise,” Sasha said calmly before her voice erupted in my mind, “Who the hell cares?”

Her voice was so sharp and jarring that I flinched, the sound of her indignation ringing in my mind.

“Who the bloody hell cares if you’re connected to him in some other way? Take the Soulbound aspect out of the equation completely and trust your instincts. Deep down, what you want most is to be with him. It doesn’t matter why. Choose him because he makes you happy. It’s that simple.”

“It’s not simple at all!” I said, flinging off the blankets and rising to my feet on shaky legs. “I was falling for Alaric and thought I had finally found a piece of my life that was my own. But it turns out, it’s not mine. It’s the Goddess Lunaria’s. She decided we should be together. Not me.”

“Well, that’s not true at all. You decided to come back to the Isle with him. You decided to kiss him on the beach. And yesterday, you told him to leave. You decided not to be with him anymore.”

“Because I refuse to let someone else dictate my life.”

“You are a walking contradiction, Cerise.” Sasha’s voice was angry now. “You claim you have no choice, but then you choose to push Alaric out of your life. So, which is it? Is someone else deciding your fate? Or do you still have control?”

I took a hesitant step forward, testing my weight on my weak legs. I hadn’t risen from bed since Alaric had brought me here, but I was restless and needed to move.

“We were drawn to each other because of Lunaria and her Soulbound bullshit,” I said. “I wasn’t even given the option to notice anyone else. What if there was someone else I wanted to be with?”

“Is there?” Sasha demanded. “Who would you like to be with, Cerise?”

I strode to the window, my heart twisting in agony as it called for Alaric. His name, his face, his voice filled my mind and soul. Every fiber of my being ached to be with him.

“Why are you denying yourself?” Sasha asked. “Are you so determined to resist this that you would doom yourself to a life of misery? How does that prove anything?”

I closed my eyes, leaning my head against the cool glass. “You are only trying to convince me to be with him so you can be with Tavik.” Even as I said the words, guilt wriggled through me at the thought. Not only was my choice making me miserable, but it was forcing Sasha to be without her mate as well.

“Maybe I am, maybe I’m not. But you know I’m not lying to you. I would be saying these things to you either way.”

I choked on a sob, my breath shuddering. “You can understand this, can’t you? How broken I am, after everything Elvira did?”

“Of course I can, Cerise.” Her voice was gentle now. “She did those things to me, too. But I think that makes it even more important for you to surround yourself with people who respect you. Who cherish you. Who truly love you.”

I wanted to argue that I didn’t know what love was. But I did know that the strength of my feelings for Alaric was more powerful than anything I’d ever felt before. If it wasn’t love, whatever I felt for him was pretty damn close.

“Alaric is giving you something Elvira never did: a choice,” said Sasha. “If you decide to return to the fae lands, he will let you go. He did not fight you when you told him to leave. He is respecting your decision. Regardless of any connection you feel to him, you know he is good and kind and decent.”

I wept against the window, shoulders shaking. Yes, Alaric was one of the most honorable individuals I’d ever met. And I knew that even without the Soulbound connection.

“Pretend there is no bond,” Sasha said. “Pretend he never told you any of it. Choose joy, Cerise. Choose a life you adore. If that includes Alaric, then so be it. If it doesn’t, then I will respect your decision… as long as it brings you joy.”

I inhaled deeply and opened my eyes to peer at the moonlit grounds before me. The trees rustled with a soft breeze. A distant howl from the forest echoed in the air.

I wanted to do as Sasha said. Desire and longing quivered through me so intensely I wanted to fall to my knees. Every inch of me yearned to go to him, to wrap my arms around him and kiss him senseless, to tell him I chose him and wanted to remain by his side forever.

There was still that small voice of reason inside me challenging me, insisting that I should resist. But my resolve was waning.

Sasha was right; why should I deny myself? Was torturing myself truly the best choice? Just to prove my life was my own? What did that matter, if I was choosing a life full of pain?

Elvira would have wanted me to do this—to choose a life as far from Alaric as possible, even if it destroyed me.

The thought made me shudder.

“Oh gods,” murmured a voice inside me.

“What?” I asked Sasha.

“That… wasn’t me,” she said in confusion.