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Riley: oh that’s bad

Clyde: She has more pull at the station than I do. She’s been there longer, she has better ratings, and apparently he thinks her “authentic approach to morning television” is more valuable than my “financial wellness podcast energy.”

McKenna: did he actually say that?

Clyde: VERBATIM. In front of the entire production team.

Riley: dad that’s awful

Clyde: I might lose my show. I might lose everything. The podcast, the sponsorships, the speaking engagements. Do you know how many motivational seminars I have booked? FORTY-THREE. And if I lose my platform, they’ll all cancel.

Forty-three seminars. The man has motivated everyone in New England except himself.

McKenna: what are you going to do?

Clyde: I don’t know. Reinvent myself? Rebrand? Learn TikTok? Your mother seems to have figured out how to start over. Maybe I should ask her for advice.

I nearly spit out my coffee. A woman two tables over gives me a concerned look, and I wave her off with the practiced ease of a mother whose family conducts its meltdowns via group text.

Josie: I did not “figure it out.” I stumbled into a theme park and a murder investigation and I’m making it up as I go.

Clyde: See? That’s more of a plan than I have right now.

Riley: dad you’ll figure it out

McKenna: yeah you always land on your feet

Clyde: I appreciate the confidence, girls. Though right now I’m mostly landing on my face.

Riley: speaking of landing... Jack Drake asked both of us to the Halloween party

Clyde: Jack Drake? As in Detective Drake’s son? The detective investigating the murder at your mother’s park?

McKenna: yep that’s the one

Clyde: Well this family keeps things interesting, I’ll give us that. Both of you go and let Jack figure it out. If he’s smart, he’ll realize he’s punching above his weight class either way.

McKenna: aw dad

Riley: that’s actually sweet

Clyde: I may be having a career crisis but I’m still your father and I still think you’re both too good for any boy who can’t make up his mind.

Josie: Agreed. Both of you go. Have fun. Let Jack sweat.

Riley: we love you mom

McKenna: And we love you, too dad (even though you’re a disaster right now)

Clyde: Love you too. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go update my LinkedIn profile and possibly learn what a “personal brand refresh” means.

I set my phone down with a sigh and take a long, medicinal sip of my latte. Somewhere out there, Clyde is googling how to go viral over fifty, and I cannot decide if that’s karma or a tragedy. Probably both. Karma usually is.

Note to self: be somewhere with an unobstructed view when Jack Drake walks into that party and finds both of my daughters waiting for him. Some entertainment money simply cannot buy.

“Everything okay?” Savvy asks, momentarily distracted from her werewolf-watching.

“Family drama. My daughters are fighting over the same boy, and my ex-husband’s girlfriend dumped him for the station manager.”