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“And the money. You know, you don’t live like a man who’s a millionaire. Maybe all of your money is going somewhere else.”
“It’s not . . . Jade—”
“I know, Gabe. I know it’s you.”
That got me out of my denial. She hadn’t used my nickname since I came back into town. In fact, I thought she never would. My gaze fell to my feet. I never once imagined her finding out that I was the owner of the STM grant. In fact, I had dreamed she would never find out. There were no words that came to mind to say to her.
“Why?” she asked.
“Do you have to know why?”
“You know I do.”
“Is it not obvious?”
“No! It’s not!” she snapped. I finally looked at her. Tears streamed down her face, and it felt like my heart was cracking into two pieces. “You left! You were done with me!”
“I wasn’t!” I snapped back. My heart pounded. “I tried to be. God, I tried. I even put out that game, thinking it would be the end of me dreaming about this place, dreaming about you, but it only made it worse! I couldn’t give you me. I couldn’t come back, but I could give you the town. I could make it what you wanted it to be. I was never enough, but this was as close as I could come.”
“You did all of this . . . for me?” she asked.
“I did. And I’ll keep doing it. I’m saving this land. I’m making sure this belongs to the town, okay? So be mad at me for doing all this. Hate me if you need to, but you once wished to see this town in its heyday. And I’m making it happen. No matter what you say.”
“And you’re still leaving?”
“I . . . have to.”
“Because you hate it so much? Tell me, would a man who hates this town do all of this? Would he save all of us with every dollar he had?”
“It was—”
“Don’t lie,” she snapped. “I heard everything you said to Toby and Kevin today.”
“You were there?”
“You admitted you cared about the town.”
My eyes shut. “I do care, but I can’t stay.”
“Of course you can’t.” She scoffed. “Because that would be too easy, right?”
“Jade, you don’t get it.”
“And you won’t tell me! You’re keeping everything to yourself and leaving me out of it!”
“You’re mad.” I said it like a fact. “Because of the grant?”
“Because of you.” She shook her head.
“So, tell me.”
She laughed, but it held no humor. “Why should I? Will it change anything? Does it ever? I always try with everyone. And yet, I’m still here, and you’re going to leave. And you know what’s the worst part?”
“What?” The word barely came out.
“You said you did all of this to give me everything. And yet, you never gave me you.”
She was right. It killed me that she was. “I know.”
