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“How do you think I felt as I fell in love with Dean?”
“There’s just a few differences.” My voice went quiet. “Like the leaving part.”
“Right,” Mollie said. “So, what happens when he leaves?”
I took a breath before saying the same thing that I’d been telling myself. “We haven’t fully talked about it, but it’s not going to be the same as last time. Neither of us want a massive argument, so we’re trying to discuss the future where it’s not so black-and-white. He’s gonna move back to San Francisco. That I know. I’m staying here. But he’s not cutting himself off from the town. We’ll talk after he goes.”
“And you’re fine with that?” Mollie asked.
“I don’t know. Maybe? It’s not ideal, but I’m willing to live with it for him.”
That nagging feeling returned. It told me I was missing something, that I needed to look deeper. I tried to push it away, knowing that encouraging him to stay was a recipe for a fight.
A silence settled over my friends. They’d all gotten their happily ever afters. They found people who worked for them. They all stayed in Strawberry Springs.
With me, it was different. I had a history of being with Gabriel. There was no falling back in love with him, because I’d never fallen out.
But we were two different people. There was something so important that we were not compatible on.
“And you’re sure that he’s the one?” Wren asked.
“I can say for sure that I’ve never felt this way about anyone else. No matter how much I’ve tried.”
“I mean, he followed her around when we were in high school.” Grace shrugged. “That’s all I know. Jade doesn’t talk about the rest.”
She was right. I didn’t. Right after Gabriel had left, it was far too difficult to. I had to put all of that into a box and hide it away. Over the years, those feelings never left, but all those memories turned sour. Now, the box was open again, and I was airing out those moments, making sure I didn’t fully close them off again.
“Have I told any of you that I sleepwalk?”
“I’m sorry, you what?” Grace’s jaw was on the floor. “How long have you done it? And how did I not know?”
“My entire life, basically.”
“Holy shit,” Mollie said. “How can we help?”
“Right now, I’m covered.”
“How so?” Grace asked.
“Recently, I was exhausted and didn’t barricade my door, and I thought everything was fine. It turns out I’ve been sleepwalking right into Gabriel’s apartment over the last few weeks.”
“Seriously?” Grace asked. “With the kids and all?”
“Yep, they saw it all. Even though I was angry at him, I still trusted him in some way.”
“That’s . . . Wow, you really like him,” Wren said.
“What did he do?” Piper asked.
“He took care of me. During the day, I was yelling at him. At night, he made sure I was safe and took me back every morning so I wouldn’t be embarrassed.”
“Oh that’s . . .” Wren trailed off. “Wow, we’re supposed to be mad at him.”
“Was he always like that?” Piper asked. “Taking care of you?”
“He would wait outside my window to make sure I didn’t sleepwalk. And when I did, he made sure I didn’t get hurt.”
“Damn. I need a pen.” Piper grabbed her bag. “I gotta write this down!”