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Nausea rolled through me hard. She’s just temporary, I told myself. Just some fancy distraction. Girls like her always think they are special. Looks, money, universities. They believe it keeps them safe. I knew the truth. But what if she wasn’t temporary? What if he was actually choosing her? No, my knight wouldn’t fall for that. He was mine.

I ducked into the bathroom on the next break. My hands shook a little as I tapped out a small line on the back of my hand. I bent down, pressed one nostril shut, and snorted hard. The burn hit fast, bitterness dripped down my throat. I told myself it was only enough to kill the sick feeling and get me through the night. I checked the mirror after. My makeup was still holding, my blue eyes were shining too hard. I looked fine. Good enough for him. I went back out and danced like my life depended on it.

The rest of the shift dragged in a haze. Every door opening made my head snap up. He never walked through it. I kept making excuses. Busy. Out of town. Work shit. Family stuff. Tomorrow for sure. Anything except admitting he might be with her. When closing came the lights went harsh and the music cut off. The quiet made everything feel sadder. I counted my tips and changed without saying much to anyone.

The walk home felt cold and lonely. I took the long route past his building again even though I knew it was dumb. The windows were all black. The place looked empty. I stood there too long, arms wrapped tight, letting the chill get under my jacket. A car cruised by twice. I felt like an idiot standing there. I pictured him inside anyway, working late, thinking about me. Then her name crashed in and cracked it all.

“She’s just temporary,” I whispered.

Temporary.

Temporary.

I said it over and over like it could make it real. My knight wouldn’t leave me hanging forever.

Back in my apartment the answering machine showed zero messages. I sat on the edge of the bed in the dark. Richard’s money waited on the table. The coke sat where I left it. I didn’t touch either for a while. Then I grabbed the cash first. I didn’t need it right then. It was proof he had been there, and holding it made him feel close. I needed it to mean I mattered to him. I counted the bills again.

He would come back. He always did. Samantha was just a phase. Just some fling. I was the one he kept returning to. I lay down still dressed, clutching that money like it could save me, and waited for sleep that felt miles away. Outside the city kept grinding on. Inside I held onto the fantasy tight.

He would come back.

He always does.

Chapter 15

Samantha

Icouldn’t stop looking at him.

Morning light filtered through the bedroom window, painting pale gold lines across the sheets and the bare skin of his shoulders. Richard slept beside me, one arm stretched across my waist, his dark hair still mostly in place despite a night’s sleep. His eyes were closed, hiding the dark gray that always seemed to find me no matter where I was.

Even asleep, he looked unfairly handsome.

I rested my chin on my hand and studied him.

If anyone had told me two months ago that I would be lying in bed beside a man I was already thinking about marrying, I would have laughed in their face.

My life had been planned. Not every detail, of course, but enough of it. I knew where I wanted my career to go. I knew I wanted to travel. I wanted to spend years building my reputation as an artist before I even considered settling down. Marriage had always felt like something that belonged somewhere in the distant future.

Then Richard happened.

Somewhere between our first date and now, he had become part of every future I imagined.

The realization should have frightened me. Instead, it filled me with a happiness so intense that sometimes I didn’t know what to do with it.

I loved him.

The words still felt unfamiliar, but I believed them completely. I had never felt this way about anyone before.

This felt different.

When Richard touched me, I felt wanted. When he looked at me, I felt understood. When he wrapped his arms around me at night, the rest of the world seemed to disappear.

I’d spent twenty-two years building a life for myself.

Richard was the first person who made me want to share it.

Heat crept into my cheeks as memories from the night before drifted through my mind. I had never imagined intimacy could feel the way it did with him. Every kiss and every touch felt meaningful.