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I grabbed the box and checked the instructions again, even though there was nothing confusing about the picture printed on the side.

Two lines meant pregnant.

I checked the second test. It was positive too. By the time I reached for the third, my hands were shaking so badly that I nearly knocked it onto the floor.

Three tests. Three positive results.

I lowered myself onto the closed toilet lid and stared at the three tests lined up across the counter. For several minutes, I couldn’t move.

I was pregnant. There was actually a baby growing inside me.

Richard’s baby.

My eyes dropped toward my stomach even though nothing looked different. I lifted the bottom of my sweater anyway and stared at the flat skin beneath it as if there might already be some visible evidence that my entire life had just changed.

I covered my mouth with my hand as tears filled my eyes.

“Oh my God.”

Another laugh slipped out, this one breaking somewhere in the middle and turning into a sob. I was crying, although I couldn’t tell whether it was because I was scared or happy.

Maybe it was both.

“I’m pregnant.”

I was still scared, but I couldn’t stop smiling through my tears. I pressed my palm against my stomach.

Richard and I had made a baby.

The baby belonged to both of us. No matter what Richard did, he could never deny that.

I didn’t know I wanted this. Maybe I hadn’t wanted it before today. But now that I knew the baby existed, the thought of wishing it away felt impossible.

I wondered what our baby would look like.

Would it have Richard’s gray eyes?

I hoped so.

I pictured a little boy with Richard’s dark hair and gray eyes. He could have my smile, Richard’s nose, and grow tall enough to look down at both of us.

Then I imagined a little girl.

The image made me smile.

Richard would be completely fucked if we had a daughter. I could already picture some tiny little girl figuring out exactly how to get whatever she wanted from him.

Then another thought came.

Seth.

Our baby would be Seth’s little brother or sister.

I sat there for a moment, letting that sink in.

Richard was already a father. I’d heard the way he talked about him. Whatever else Richard was capable of, his son mattered to him.

Now there would be another child.