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I removed my hand from inside my jacket.
John turned his mask toward me. “Remember if you raise the boy among us, the Collective will have expectations.”
“Seth will exceed them.”
“I bet your father once said the same about you.”
“My father never understood me.”
“And you’re certain you’ll understand your son?”
“I’m certain he’ll understand what I expect of him.”
John leaned back in his chair. “We shall see.”
I lifted the carrier and walked toward the table. John gave one final nod as I placed Seth beside my chair, ending the challenge. The tension eased enough for the other members to approach, although they were careful to keep their distance. One commented on Seth’s dark hair. Another seemed impressed that he slept through the unfamiliar voices surrounding him.
I knew some of these men had murdered children, including infants. None of them would touch my son. They understood exactly what would happen if they fucked with me.
Greg walked over and removed his gloves. “May I hold him?” he asked.
I nodded once. Greg lifted Seth with surprising care and supported his head perfectly while rocking him. The same hands that had ended lives without a second thought now held my newborn son.
He studied Seth closely and noted, “He’s really the spitting image of you. Marie and I have been talking about trying soon.”
Seth started to fuss after a minute. Greg adjusted him naturally and Seth calmed right away.
Colin laughed. “Well I’ll be damned, the kid likes you.”
Greg shrugged and kept rocking him. “Babies don’t care who you’ve killed.”
I watched closely. Greg smiled slightly. I had never seen him do that before.
Colin took Seth next and made a few faces at him. Seth blinked and yawned which caused real laughter to spread through the room from those two. The rest of the men stayed more reserved, watching with calculated interest. I stood proud. This was my son entering this world on my terms.
They returned him when the formal meeting began. I sat at the table with Seth resting against my chest and kept one hand on his back. The discussion covered shipping routes, money laundering operations, expansion plans, potential recruits, and a judge who had suddenly developed a conscience. I contributed when necessary and rubbed Seth’s back whenever he moved.
Two hours into the meeting, Seth woke and began crying. I retrieved one of the bottles Samantha had packed and fed him while John discussed what would happen if the judge refused another payment. No one paused the conversation. Murder, bribery, and disposal were discussed while my son drank quietly in my arms.
When the bottle was empty, I placed Seth against my shoulder and burped him. He yawned, stretched against my chest, and fell asleep before the men finished deciding who would die next.
The meeting ran late into the night. When it finally ended, John walked over and looked down at Seth. He placed one gloved finger against my son’s hand, and Seth wrapped his small fist around it.
“We will be seeing a great deal of each other, Seth,” he said.
I smiled in return.
Colin drove us back through the dark roads while Seth slept the entire way. When we reached the house I carried him inside and found Samantha dozing in bed. She woke instantly when she heard the door and reached for our son. She checked his fingers and face and blanket before kissing his forehead several times.
“How’d he do?” she asked.
I told her, “He was perfect.”
She smiled with clear relief. “I knew he would be. I think he likes you more than me already.”
She nursed him one more time before settling him into the crib. I stood in the doorway watching them both in the soft light. Samantha straightened his blanket and touched his tiny hand one last time then stepped back.
Seth slept peacefully beneath the soft nursery light, completely unaware that before he was a month old he had already been welcomed into the darkest part of my world. He had no fear yet because no one had taught it to him. One day he would learn fear. He would learn loyalty. He would learn everything from me.