Page 51 of A Violet Obsession

Because Joey would. Without hesitation. He’d tear through every person I’ve ever loved to get to me, and he’d enjoy it.

“Joey hates me,” I say quietly. “He always has.”

Ever since the last time he tried to rape me, and I stabbed him in the leg.

“Does Emma know any of this?” I shake my head. “Why didn’t you tell me before?”

“Because it’s embarrassing, and I’m ashamed, and I was worried you’d assume I was guilty.”

He nods thoughtfully. “That’s another reason the police think you’re involved.”

“Yup.” The silence stretches again until I almost can’t bear it. “Do you want me to leave?”

His brow furrows. “Why would you ask that?”

“Now that you know my past… It’s bad, right?” I swallow past the lump in my throat. I’d rather do anything than put this into words, but I need to know. “Do you think I’m a bad person?”

Finn’s hand is firmer now on my arm, his thumb tracing a slow line from my elbow to my wrist, and back again. His voice is low, his chest rumbling with the words. “I can’t tell you how many ‘bad’ things I’ve done. How many people I’ve killed. And that’s not even the worst of it.” His eyes hold mine. “You aren’t a bad person, Lily. You’re a survivor.”

“Neither are you. You were in the military. You had to⁠—”

“Not the entire time.” He maintains steady eye contact, and I understand he needs me to hear what he’s saying. “After I got out, I was a mercenary for a while.” His lips quirk. “Still am, in a lot of ways. But Brady hates it when we say that.”

Suddenly, the events of the last twenty-four hours make sense.

“You’re a survivor, too,” I insist.

The smile fades. He stares at the wall across the room. “Don’t make me out to be a hero, Lily. What I did wasn’t like what you had to do.”

I can feel his pulse has picked up and his jaw works almost as if to keep the words inside. Finally, he says, “When I was overseas, I met a woman.”

My chest tightens, because from his face, I already know this story doesn’t end well.

“Turned out she was an enemy asset. The whole thing was a setup. A mission was compromised. Two of my friends were shot. One of them died in front of me.”

“What happened to her?”

His nostrils flare, and then after a moment. “I killed her.”

The silence that follows is absolute. It feels like even the building is holding its breath.

“That’s why you don’t trust me.”

“No, it’s why you terrify me.” He says it quietly, still looking at the wall. “Because I do trust you.”

The air around us seems to press in on me.

“You’re a survivor, too,” I repeat firmly.

He brushes the hair back from my cheek. “Maybe.”

The mattress dips as he shifts. “Do you want me to take the sofa in the other room so you aren’t alone?”

I shake my head. “I don’t think I’ll sleep again tonight. It’s almost morning, anyway.”

I chew my lip. The next words feel harder to get out than the entire story about Scott.

“Would you mind… staying with me? Just for a little while?”