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I take her hand in mine across the flat of our sofa.
“But maybe don’t tell anyone that. You’re the only person who knows.”
Her eyes blow wide. “A secret? You told me a secret? Just me.”
“Yeah.” I laugh as she jerks me upright, grabbing my hand in both of hers.
“Cause we’re friends, right?” She asks, eyes twinkling. There’s a slightly manic look in her eyes, but beneath it is fear.
Fear I know well, because I’ve been that girl. The one who wanted friendship so desperately she would’ve bent herself into every shape to capture it.
So I nod quickly, squeezing her hand in mine a little tighter. “Of course we’re friends, Lily.” I bite my lip for a minute before adding, “I have a weird idea—do you have a swimsuit?”
• • •
An hour later, we’re seated on the ledge of the empty pool. The facility is only open for another half hour, but it’s plenty of time.
Lily looks adorable and ridiculous in equal measure in a fancy one-piece swimsuit I’m worried to ask the price of, with a high swinging ponytail of perfect auburn hair. She keeps biting her lip and looking over the pool ledge like the Creature from the Black Lagoon will rise up and pull her down under.
“You swear you’ve swam before?”
“Mmhmm,” she says, still staring down. “But maybe we can start in the shallow end.”
I smirk. “Yeah—Lily? This is the shallow end. You’re what, five feet tall?”
She grimaces. “More or less.”
“You’re not going to be able to touch with your head above the water. So if you can’t swim, just tell me—”
“Can I just sit and watch you for a little?” She settles into the cold water of the shallow end with a shiver, scooting her butt to rest against one of the ladder rungs. “I just wanna spend time with you. Forget the swimming lessons.”
A laugh bubbles out of me and my body feels instantly lighter. I loop my pigtail braids in my hand and pull my swim cap on. “All right. Why don’t you use my phone.” I arrow my head toward where it lays atop my sweatshirt in the messy pile behind her, “and time me? Just don’t drop my phone in the pool.”
She decides to sit with her feet in the water, lip between her teeth as I tell her my password and she opens the clock app. “Ready?”
“Ready.”
Chapter 25
THEN: Freshman Year, October
Bennett
By midterms, Paloma and I have fallen into a new routine, working on the poetry project and walking Seven together. I always hold her hand. She always smiles and talks to me even when my own words don’t come easily.
But, with her, I am finding it easier.
Today we’re meeting with Dr. Britton for a progress update on our project. I’m fifteen minutes early to his office, and five minutes later Paloma rounds the corner. She’s dressed in soft, baggy pants and an oversized, well-worn orange shirt with It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown emblazoned across the front, her backpack on her shoulder like always. I rarely see her without it.
“I like your shirt,” I say, smiling. She blushes, stopping just next to me and reaching for my hand before boldly rising on her toes to kiss my cheek.
“Thank you,” she says. “Good morning, Bennett.”
A second date should be my next plan. I tried to talk it out with my therapist, but she insisted this is something I can figure out on my own.
I go over it time and again, tuning out most of what our professor is saying. This time, I’ll hold her hand and compliment her. Then, a kiss on the cheek like she does for me so often. Or . . . maybe the forehead?
“All right, Bennett?”
