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“Yeah.”

My eyes take her in again, the grip of her hand on the strap of her same blue backpack that she never lets out of her sight. The gentle swoop of her blond bangs across her temple, the icy strands bright against the sunlight.

How many years will this curse persist—me desperately in want of her? Am I so destined to become my father?

She follows me into the Wellness Center but stops just in the entryway.

“I got a new apartment,” she blurts, cheeks flushing. “So I won’t be at the Hockey House, invading your space and bothering you.” It’s an attempt at a joke, but I shake my head.

“You could never bother me.” My voice is more serious than I mean for it to be. I double down, taking her hand in mine. “Never.”

There’s a long moment then, the air thick between us. The light from the wall of windows plays along her hair, her pretty, delicate skin, her peachy lips. It’s hard, sometimes, to separate her mind from her beauty. To separate the girl I love from the girl I tend to lust after. Who I think of in the shower and often.

But at the same time, I am covetous of her, even from myself. I love her too much to sink back into the comfort of her body, to allow her to do the same.

I’m different now than when we first met. I have better ways of handling myself, of handling her. And I am even more determined than I was at eighteen that if she just gives me her hand one more time, we can be together. She’ll allow me to hold her in the way I so desperately want to.

That she’ll let me take care of her.

Slow and steady, I remind myself. It’s almost an impossible feat with this girl, the woman I’ve been obsessed with since I was eighteen years old. The only girl I’ve ever loved, ever wanted in any way.

“I’ll see you around, then?” she offers.

I nod, slipping a pack of Goldfish into her hand with a quiet, “Yeah, P. I’m not going anywhere.”

Chapter 16

NOW

Paloma

It’s loud.

I remember that much from freshman year, though I’d been in the locker and equipment rooms before. Now I’m seated in the chair outside Coach Harris’s office, waiting for him to approve my schedule, so being able to hear the entire team from here tells me just how loud they are.

A door slams as I spot Toren Kane escaping one of the offices like a bat out of hell. Or Satan out of heaven.

Toren Kane—the new barnacle latched onto my side. The dark outcast of the hockey team I can’t seem to shake, though my life would be far easier without him always playing both angel and devil on my shoulder.

“I’m not done,” another voice snaps, drawing my attention to the well-dressed man standing in the doorway of the room Toren just left.

Toren spins on his heel and stretches his arms out wide, nearly touching both sides of the concrete hallway.

“Like I said,” he sneers, “I don’t give a fuck. Suspend me if you want to. Kiss the whole team’s season goodbye.”

There’s confidence and arrogance in his voice, but he looks distressed. Head bent low and midnight black hair messy, he nearly darts past me without a second glance. As if he doesn’t know I’m there.

The familiar man in the navy suit eyes me briefly and shakes his head, ducking back into his office and slamming the door.

“Does everyone hate you then?” I snip, making Toren pause in his steps.

Golden eyes scan over me; his brow furrows only for a second before a smile reveals his eerily sharp canines.

“It’s my specialty, actually.” He crosses his arms. “Here to try out for my spot? Or just to stare at Reiner until you feel sick?”

My stomach rolls and I scoff, looking away from him before his intense, irritating gaze can see more than he already has since last semester.

Though he’s always seen right through me.