Page 120
I rake a hand through my hair and squeeze my fists at my side, voice raw and broken.
“I thought you wanted me.”
The words are vulnerable but covered in the sting of my own fury. She flinches, back hitting the door again. Fireworks burst in the background—loud and abrasive against my ears, illuminating Paloma’s face over and over like a spectacle spotlight from my bedroom window.
“Bennett—please—”
“It’s fine,” I cut her off. “It’s too difficult for you, yeah? It’s—I’m—” A frustrated noise leaves my throat “You’re right. Someone like you could never love someone like me, right?”
“Bennett,” she pleads, voice heady and intoxicating. I want to apologize and beg her to stay—but I can’t do this. I can’t. It’ll kill me—and I’m not going to get any better. If anything, my obsession with her has only gotten worse with every day that she’s near me, every strand of her hair over my fingers, every piece of her ingrained in me.
She doesn’t deny the words.
“Just go, Paloma.”
Seven whines, standing between us, like he’s unsure of what to do.
“Go.”
This time, it’s almost a shout, my control slipping.
She does, the door swinging violently shut as she sprints out.
The rush of adrenaline leaves me just as quicky, making my legs shaky and weak. My stomach sinks, my body following as I melt to the floor, back against my bed. Wrong, wrong, wrong.
Heart racing and fingers shaking, I reach for my phone and call her. To apologize.
It goes straight to her voicemail.
I call her again. And again. Obsessively, trying over and over to reach her. Fireworks continue on, making me flinch with every burst of noise.
Stop. Stop. Make it stop.
Seven sits almost entirely in my lap, pressing his weight on my thumping heart. A deep well forms in my throat, a sob ready to rip free, but I try to hold it back.
Hours pass. I only know because I see the sunlight stream through my windows. I hear the front door open and slam again as Rhys calls for me.
I don’t answer.
After a long moment, he steps into my doorway, eyes widening. “Ben? Are you all right?”
“F-fine.”
Clearly, I’m not fine. The pain is so intense I almost feel numb.
“What can I do?” Rhys asks. He doesn’t pester me with further questions, doesn’t try to discover what’s wrong. Only sits by my side patiently as I ask him to stay with me.
We call out of practice. He stays with me all day.
“I don’t know,” I manage to push out. My hands feel numb and cold as I flex and curl them, as if it will help. Everything feels glacial and raw.
Rhys nods. “That’s okay.” He hesitates a moment longer, then asks, “Do you want me to hug you?”
I nod, tears slipping down my cheeks as I break in my best friend’s arms, tight around me to slow my erratic heart.
She’s gone.
Chapter 53
