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When he pulled back and tilted my head up to kiss me, it was on the tip of my tongue to tell him what I’d been thinking.

I love you.

I’d stayed up all night after that thinking about it. Then whispering it across his skin like a secret while he slept. Because I did. It was stupid and hilarious, but I wasn't the kind who could separate emotions from sex. No, I wasn’t that good. If I was having sex with him, it was because I was already feeling something. I would be a fool to think otherwise.

These days, we had sex everywhere—in the garage, against one of the cars he never used, in the library he never went into, and in the kitchen. He fucked me against the shower wall. I could never think of these places again without seeing us pressed against those surfaces while he fucked my brains out.

It was overwhelming—this intense emotion pressing down on me—but also fulfilling. I couldn't wrap my mind around it.

But that was the strangest thing about happiness. It always arrived quietly.

There was never a grand moment. Or warning. No announcement to tell me something had changed. But I felt it anyway. I slept comfortably at night, and I didn't flinch when he came into the room. My apologies were lessening by the day. The constant smile on my face when he walked through the door from work.

Once upon a time, I convinced myself I'd felt like this too. But seeing this in real time, I know now that they weren't even close. Not even a little. I was just stupid enough to believe it was.

Somewhere between Knox leaving coffee beside me every morning without admitting he was being thoughtful and the way his hand always found mine when we walked through crowded places, heading to the clubhouse or the mall.

Somewhere between his grumpy complaints about my cooking and the way he still ate every single thing I made.

Somewhere between the moments when he looked at me like I was something precious and the moments when he looked at himself like he didn’t understand how he got here.

I had stopped feeling like I was surviving. I was living. I was happy.

And that scared me more than anything.

Because I knew what it felt like to lose things. I knew what it felt like to finally relax only for someone to remind you that you weren’t safe. Derek had taught me that. Every good moment came with a price. Every smile was temporary. Every peaceful night was just waiting for the storm.

I was comfortable enough to believe that Knox wouldn't do that to me. He was different. That was the dangerous part. Knox made me forget to be afraid.

I stood in the kitchen, staring down at my phone resting against the counter. Ava’s name was pulled up on the screen. I hadn’t spoken to her properly since the last time we talked, and lately, she'd been on my mind. Something told me she was still worried, and I didn't want her to worry anymore. She was the only person who cared if I lived or died, I had to at least let her know I was fine even if it was coming this late. I dialed her line. The ringing barely lasted two seconds.

“Wren?” Ava’s voice immediately softened.

And just like that, guilt hit me.

“Ava.”

“Oh my God.”

I smiled slightly. “I know.”

“No, you don’t know. Jesus, Wren. I've been worried about you. I called you a hundred times. Left you a million messages. You couldn't have told me you were doing fine.” She stopped her rambling enough to listen to the sound of my breath. “At least I hope you're doing fine now. Are you?”

My smile faded. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.” The firmness in her voice made me quiet. “Just answer my question for goodness' sake. You disappeared.”

“I know. I'm sorry,” I croaked. “I should have tried harder to reach you, but I just wanted to put it all behind me. I'm sorry, Ava. I know you've been worried. I'm doing fine. I'm in a better place, I promise.”

“Thank God,” she said, exhaling with relief. “Wren, I heard things.”

My stomach tightened. “What things?”

She hesitated, wondering if it was safe to bring it up. “About Derek.”

Of course. I looked away, staring at my mug of coffee.

“He’s been telling people you’re going through something.”